Friday 3 February 2012

Why did you have children? How have they changed your life?

Hi

I write this post for

Due to their Do Something Yummy campaign http://www.yummymummy.org.uk/
brought to my attention by the awareness Nickie is raising by hosting these weekly writing prompts  here here and here.

Nickie gave 3 writing prompts:
  1. Personal post.  Why did you have children?  How have they changed your life?
  2. Yummy post. 
  3. Creative writing.
I chose the 1st one.

Over to my post.  But after writing that, I am now scratching my grey matter to come up with a fund raising idea.  I may just have thought of one.  I will let it simmer a while.

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I started trying for a baby on Good Friday 2009.  April.

I had wanted to since 2007 (and before) but was far far far too scared of labour.  Proper scared.

Anyway, along comes the beginning of 2009 and I say to hubby I am too overweight to get pregnant, "give me a few weeks I'll do a detox" - I even wrote posts about trying to lose weight here, but proceeded not to lose any.  I didn't admit on that blog that my goal for weight loss was trying to start a family.  April came, and I was still the same size.

So roll on Good Friday and we are in Ikea, and I am looking at scented candles.  A heavily pregnant lady walked passed and I looked at her. Her radiance connected with me on a really really deep level and I bawled like a baby, right there in Ikea.

The minute we got home, we made love on the sofa.

I got pregnant, from that 1st attempt, but, a few week later, we had implantation failure..... most wouldn't know and would think they were late, and that it was a heavier than normal period. I am normally neither and am consistent, for like 25 years +.

Anyway, we tried every month from April till September and the only thing that got me through it was Net Mums.

The longer time went on, the more I wanted my baby. It was all consuming. I read about it, talked about it, didn't think about anything else.

And for me, having been a workaholic, I needed it to be like that. I would have taken it for granted if it came too soon. I needed to need, I needed to wait, I needed to nurture that space inside me, and I needed to long... long for my creation.

I wrote the below poem on Friday 18th September 2009. When I wrote it, I was pregnant, and did not know...... as I was in the famous 2 weeks waiting..... My last cycle started 31st August 2009.

(I retain all creative rights and copyright - ha ha ha).
I am a spiritual lady who so dearly wants a baby
I would oh so like the bump I'm impatient, got the hump
two weeks worth of waiting is getting really grating
But I do really love this thread Gets it all out of my head
A little girl or a boy Will be my pride and joy
Oh Lord when will it be that my beloved child I will see
I love you. I want you.
I posted it on netmums at the time. Thankfully I just found it (by wading through the forum which was quite time consuming).

I also started this blog before I was pregnant. A bit ambitious I know.

This was my 1st post, here on this blog.

Bye for now, Liska and my pride and joy Aaron xxx

ShowOff Showcase

8 comments:

  1. Oh how lovely! I too got to the point where I just had to have a baby and it was upsetting me when other people became pregnant. I remember bursting into tears when a colleague told me she was pregnant, and when my sister was I sobbed. This feeling was there for about five years before I got pregnant, and in the end I said enough is enough. I was lucky to get pregnant very early on. I didn't expect it and aforementioned friend had to tell me to do a pregnancy test!

    Thanks for linking up to ShowOff ShowCase

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  2. Thanks for sharing this post for the #dosomethingyummy campaign it's a great post - so honest and heartfelt x

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  3. yyyyyeeeeeaaaah this comment has finally uploaded onto Disqus. As has The Boy and Me's - phew I really disrupted my blog last night when I was experimenting with the templates LOL x

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  4. I am so glad this comment has finally showed up - I messed around with my templates yesterday and your comment ended up on Blogger instead of on Disqus and it was threatening to stay there in no man's land.  Glad I have finally after about 6 attempts, imported you.
    Maybe that's symbolic - maybe we had to import our babies too LOL xxx

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  5. I noticed the new template (one of the dynamic views) - it might help if you change your comment settings to "Only members of this blog can comment" which means that people wouldn't be able to leave comments on the old Blogger system.  I do like the dynamic views but they're not for people with sidebars or imported comments systems.

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  6. Oh don't worry - I have resumed a side column standard template and left the gorgeous (but not functional) dynamic template behind. Only had it for a few wee hours LOL x

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  7. what a beautiful post Liska, I never really experianced the longing for a baby, I got pregannt with my first whilst in a mad blur of setting up our new business and being only 18 and not long moving out from my family home in with my boyfriend it was abit of a crazy time, then I feel quickly with my second as soon as i stopped breastfeeding my first... and again caught super fast with my third but I appreciate that its not that easy for everyone and how all consuming it can become trying to concieve xx

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  8. Thanks for such a lovely comment - I hope to try for a 2nd when I've done convincing my husband x

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Drop me a line, and I will visit you right back - as soon as I get chance. Thanks for your comment.