I write this post for
Due to their Do Something Yummy campaign http://www.yummymummy.org.uk/
brought to my attention by the awareness Nickie is raising by hosting these weekly writing prompts here here and here.
Nickie gave 3 writing prompts:
- Personal post. Why did you have children? How have they changed your life?
- Yummy post.
- Creative writing.
Over to my post. But after writing that, I am now scratching my grey matter to come up with a fund raising idea. I may just have thought of one. I will let it simmer a while.
I started trying for a baby on Good Friday 2009. April.
I had wanted to since 2007 (and before) but was far far far too scared of labour. Proper scared.
Anyway, along comes the beginning of 2009 and I say to hubby I am too overweight to get pregnant, "give me a few weeks I'll do a detox" - I even wrote posts about trying to lose weight here, but proceeded not to lose any. I didn't admit on that blog that my goal for weight loss was trying to start a family. April came, and I was still the same size.
So roll on Good Friday and we are in Ikea, and I am looking at scented candles. A heavily pregnant lady walked passed and I looked at her. Her radiance connected with me on a really really deep level and I bawled like a baby, right there in Ikea.
The minute we got home, we made love on the sofa.
I got pregnant, from that 1st attempt, but, a few week later, we had implantation failure..... most wouldn't know and would think they were late, and that it was a heavier than normal period. I am normally neither and am consistent, for like 25 years +.
Anyway, we tried every month from April till September and the only thing that got me through it was Net Mums.
The longer time went on, the more I wanted my baby. It was all consuming. I read about it, talked about it, didn't think about anything else.
And for me, having been a workaholic, I needed it to be like that. I would have taken it for granted if it came too soon. I needed to need, I needed to wait, I needed to nurture that space inside me, and I needed to long... long for my creation.
I wrote the below poem on Friday 18th September 2009. When I wrote it, I was pregnant, and did not know...... as I was in the famous 2 weeks waiting..... My last cycle started 31st August 2009.
(I retain all creative rights and copyright - ha ha ha).
I am a spiritual lady who so dearly wants a babyI posted it on netmums at the time. Thankfully I just found it (by wading through the forum which was quite time consuming).
I would oh so like the bump I'm impatient, got the hump
two weeks worth of waiting is getting really grating
But I do really love this thread Gets it all out of my head
A little girl or a boy Will be my pride and joy
Oh Lord when will it be that my beloved child I will see
I love you. I want you.
I also started this blog before I was pregnant. A bit ambitious I know.
This was my 1st post, here on this blog.
Bye for now, Liska and my pride and joy Aaron xxx