Wednesday, 22 May 2013

The Gallery - Drink

Tara this week gives us The Gallery prompt of DRINK.

TheGallery

This was a drink that made me cry last night.

You see, even though Aaron will be 3 in about 3 weeks, he still drinks bottles and he still drinks FORMULA.  As it is dairy free I tried to move him to a carton version, that is made by Alpro, and it is even especially made for toddlers with all that they require... but it tastes too different (it's even a different colour) and he won't drink it even when he is starving and/or thirsty.... so we are yet to leave the bottle or powdered formula behind us despite his nearly being three.  THE ONLY thing we left behind was the steriliser and we only use one bottle, not the previous 6-8 that we used prior to weaning (although I breastfed for 13 months, we always topped up with bottles as I had low milk supplies).

Anyway I digress.  We spent Monday out house hunting (only to find that what we could afford was NOT NICE) and on the way home, the husband popped into Morrisons while I stayed in the car with Aaron who was asleep in the car seat.

The husband got one of these:


Only he did not realise that the red plastic clip was missing from the front.

I only had cause to open it, more than 24 hours later, i.e. at 23:30 last night - yes Aaron was still up.  He has been doing something really odd the last few days.  Sleeping from 1800 to 20:30 and then staying up till 1 a.m.! and this despite having grown out of afternoon naps...

Anyway I digress AGAIN.

I opened it last night.  My heart was in my shoes because FIRST the red plastic clip was missing from the front and secondly the tinfoil inside was open.

My "baby" boy ALWAYS has a bottle last thing at night AND first thing in the morning and I knew he'd have neither.

I thought he would get distressed so instead of waiting for that to happen, I got distressed, so much so that he said "what's wrong Mummy?"

When I told him he said "don't worry I will have BENA" (which is what he calls Ribena).

He had it in his normal 12 oz Tommee Tippee bottle (which you can only get online), and drank it in bed and fell asleep as normal as if it was milk.

While he drank it, I said "but Aaron there will be the same problem in the morning" to which he again promised he would have BENA, and I asked if he would cry and he promised he wouldn't.

This morning I woke before him, dreading him waking to no bottle, but he stuck to his promise and climbed on my knee to drink a bottle of BENA.

If you could see my big strapping two year old who looks like a 4 year old you would not believe he is still on bottles.

Anyway, I was thrilled by Morrisons, who sent me this lovely tweet when I alerted them to the problem:
The Manager on duty when I popped into the store this afternoon could not have been nicer and did a no quibble exchange, despite not being aware of the agreement on Twitter - he could not have been nicer.

Last night I was so mad at the husband for buying it when he should have noticed the seal broken, but Aaron and Morrisons both being so understanding more than made up for it.

A Mum must have opened it instore to steal some.  It is the only explanation I and a Twitter friend could come up with:

Liska xx

The Wife Replies

A "network" recently posted a blog post that was brash, tacky, thoughtless andSamantha Brick-ish!  Even the Daily Fail would have published something with more meat on the bone.
brash 1  (brsh)
adj. brash·er, brash·est
1.
a. Hasty and unthinking; impetuous.
b. Rash.
2. Lacking in sensitivity or tact.
3. Presumptuously forward; impudent. See Synonyms at shameless.
Anyway, quite a few of us were stunned by the post and not stunned into silence either.
I didn't bother to comment as I knew it would be deleted, but yet I wanted to reply in some way, so I thought I would write a post in a similar hurried shallow style to theirs.  Speedily written with no thought for the reader, but this time a reply from the wife.
OBVIOUSLY it does not reflect real life, as there is clearly more depth to the emotions of all concerned, which is not reflected in their [the network's] post or mine.

The pain of infidelity can, and does, go on for decades, as I know only too well, with my Uncle having had to give me away at my wedding, with my Dad having dropped out at the 11th hour.  My Mum and him had not met in 20 years, and my wedding clearly wasn't the place to do so.  Fo similar reasons he was not at my 21st birthday party.  When a marriage breaks, the cracks often last a lifetime.

Anyway, here is my fictitious reply from the wife.  We will never know if the post it replies to is fictitious or not........ but we all have our opinions on that.
Despite the post being so contentious I would link to it, if it was worth the paper it was written on, or if it was published with a little more thought.  There are not even links at the bottom, to resources for people who may have been effected by the post - EVEN the Soaps do THAT!

I am not a writer so don't be expecting a masterpiece
******
 
Have you considered that I may not care?
 
Me, and the three kids… When he is around, we are on tippy toes. I have to be an interpreter, a translator, a keeper of the peace. Sometimes the kids take to their rooms, under the pretense of homework, and me to the soaps, or the washing up. Sometimes a distraction is simply a long-distance phonecall that I have to take.
 
He lost us years ago. 


The day he started speaking with his mouth and not his heart. The day he showed more warmth to strangers than his own family. 

Yes, he lives here. Yes, he is Daddy. 

Yes, he strikes a pose in all of the right family photos, and turns up at the right places at the right time, nearly all the time.
 
But, we know we have lost him and him us. He seems to have found a new hobby, or interest. I don’t believe that he suddenly needs to do longer hours.

 
I should be curious. I suppose I ought to ask what it is that is taking up his time. What it is that is making him have a spring in his step, but I am too busy focusing on the spring in mine to notice the spring in his.
The kids have extra curricular things going on more or less every day of the week. By the time I get in, get dinner on, homework coordinated, baths, bedtimes, there is barely time to down a glass of wine, let alone wonder where HE is.

 
All I sometimes briefly notice, is that things are calmer when he is not around. Nobody fighting over the TV channels. All of us understanding each other, no translations needed. More importantly, no shouting. Sometimes I don’t notice. Him not being there is so normal, that I notice the shouting, but I don’t notice the lack of it.


I guess I should be grateful that he works, and brings home the bacon, but that is where his contribution to the family ends. I don’t feel any emotional support from him. In fact, I feel like a single parent, and it is single parents that I gravitate to.


I wonder when he talks about us, what does he say? He can’t list off all of our milestones, when he’s missed so many of them. Even when we have family holidays, you can tell that although he is physically present, mentally he is elsewhere.

 
The angry outburst kind of stopped when he got a smartphone. I think when he discovered Twitter. He thinks I am a technophobe and that I don’t “get” social media, but little does he know that I have been blogging for 6 years, and that I am one of the people he chats to on Twitter. We’ve even DM’d each other, so I do know about his secret “liaisons”. I choose not to care. The woman he has taken up with is so arrogant, to me, they deserve each other. If she keeps him out of my sight occasionally I applaud her for that, but she is not the person keeping us together, I am.

 
I could have thrown him out years ago, but for my own reasons I choose to stick with the status quo. That is my prerogative. I don’t feel anything towards her, not even pity. To me she is a non-person, with as little emotional intelligence as I have ever seen. Persona non grata.

 
She thinks she is his first. I follow her too on Twitter. She thinks she has burst his extra marital cherry. Oh how wrong you are lady. THAT I think is what amuses me the most.

 
If he ever decides to leave me for her, I’ll be shocked, but no, I won’t shed a tear.

 
It is his life that will be the lesser for leaving, not mine. I left him emotionally a long time ago. To me he is just a paying lodger.

 
One day, the truth might come out, regarding his liaisons, but for now I am raising a family, and THAT is what is important.


*** 

If you have been effected by this subject, get support from those around you or online:

www.survivinginfidelity.com/
Articles, forums, information for those who feel betrayed or have betrayed.

ultimatebetrayal.com/
How to recover from infidelity in your relationship. How to regain trust after an
affair. Support after uncovering infidelity. Infidelity and relationships expert.

www.dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum
Discuss Infidelity with others who understand what you're going through. ...
Forum - Infidelity Support Group - DailyStrength.org Add a Topic ...
 

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Adaptable to a point

We normally go to Ireland by plane. Aaron knows the drill off by heart. Packing's become an artform and the journey this side and the other are both easy.

We pay Ryan Air extra to bring a 20kg case which we share and all Aaron's tops and bottoms go in his carry-on Trunki. 

Recently we had to go to a wedding in Ireland and with the costs of that in itself Mummy could not afford flights so we haggled a lift by car and boat with my Dad and his wife.

Aaron coped with going to bed on holiday-eve at 10 pm followed by a rude awakening 4.30 a.m. on 2nd May. Didn't mind saying goodbye to Daddy and swapping his car for Granddad's. Also didn't mind 10 hours total in the car that day or a 3 hour trip by boat which was exciting never having travelled on one before. He totally got that the boat was taking him to Ireland....

Only on arrival...
We disagreed on what Ireland was/is...
We always stay with "MM" (Mum's Mum) but this time we were to stay at my Dad's.
On arrival Aaron screamed at the top of his lungs. "This is NOT Ireland". For the first time in his life he cried himself to sleep.
Even the next day, hysterics!

When I finally convinced him it was indeed Ireland he said "I want to go in Granddad's jeep (he has a Landrover Discovery) to the other Ireland".  My adaptable boy who will go ANYWHERE as long as his Mum goes too, was NOT happy.

We arrived in Ireland Thursday 2nd May and finally visited MM on Tuesday 7th May. I thought he would have forgotten the trauma but no, he would not hug my Mum at all or show her any warmth. Yet when it was time to leave on Wednesday he cried so we stayed at MM's two nights, instead of the planned ONE.  On the second night he sat on her knee and was normal with her. I was too.

Oh Aaron you sensitive little soul. I love you.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Reasons To be Cheerful

I am nowhere near as consistent as I ought to be with this Linky.  Not nearly disciplined enough to join in every week.  Would love to though.

Reasons to be Cheerful at Mummy from the Heart


I can't think of ANY reasons to be cheerful today but I am going to force myself to, as I think it is at times like this, that the Linky is most needed.  To make you introspective, to force you to reflect on what is good in life or as Mich puts it: God in life.

So let me think:
  1. First of all I was without a job, having been made redundant last July, and then eventually, I took Aaron out of nursery.  Because they reduced his hours, their idea, the notice period lasted from January to April.  They said "you'll have found a job by then!" and me being ever so slightly psychic, I knew I wouldn't.  I cried a lot on his last day, as they gave him the biggest "leaving card" I have ever seen and it was full of photos.  I also got an arch lever file full of photos and learnings, that cover 2011, 2012 and 2013.  Anyway, preparing for Ireland took my mind off the fact that he was finished at nursery.  I was doing laundry at a rate of knots and busy packing.  So now we are back, and the week doesn't have as much structure without him going to nursery but the R2BC is that he will be back there from September 15 hours a week, and I am going to enjoy every minute of him until then :-)
  2. I guess point (1) makes me a SAHM, and I have always wanted to give that a go.
  3. Before I went to Ireland I wrote some cheerful blog posts about how I'd QUICKLY got Aaron a wedding outfit in TK Maxx and me in M&S, and his shoes in a Clarks' Factory Shop.  I did the MOST successful, budget ONE DAY shopping trip I have ever done in my life. I did that target and strike type of shopping men are famous for.  Well it WAS a reason to be cheerful, but then at the wedding I did not at all feel glamourous in my £39 jersery fabric M&S maxi dress, but to be fair it was more about the fact that my hair was not done.  I will NEVER again go to a wedding without my hair being done. Big mistake HUGE as they say in Pretty Woman.  I got a lot of flack from my Dad and his Wife that Aaron was not in a suit or at the very least in a shirt, tie and smart trousers, but what they didn't seem to realise is.... well a few things (1) I don't think that is necessarily right for a 2 year old (2) I didn't want him wearing what he wore to a wedding last August (because the photos are on Facebook and it was the other side of the family) (3) I liked him in what he DID wear, and (4) ironically enough, the smart outfit last year was cheap as chips Primark, whereas the shirt and shorts he wore to the wedding this year were BOTH reduced from £35 to £15 EACH.  People with CLASS can SEE money, and to me, I could SEE that Aaron looked good AND he looked more comfortable than the children in suits (yes there were a couple)....  I guess you want photos right? Well here they are :-)

The other thing I am "cheerful" about, if you can call it that, is that all of the clothes I bought Aaron last year, I bought BIG. That is how I am surviving now this year when I have no money coming in.  All of his clothes from last year still fit, bar a few pairs of jeans which I have had to replace, and yes there are some hoodies that are now short on the arms.  His arms and legs seems to have got longer, but bar that, everything still fits :-)  The me of this year THANKS the me of last year for being clever with her clothes shopping - it is certainly not something I can currently afford to repeat.

And the final reason to be cheerful, is that we are home.  Ireland was quite stressful, and as a result I had about 3 PJ days after we got back Saturday and have only unpacked today. Sometimes it is nice to be home with your creature comforts and not having to keep apologising for Aaron's behaviour.

Oh and to explain the PJ rest days on return, we went by boat which involved many hours in car and boat. I am extremely grateful to my Dad that he let us both accompany him in the car there and back.  It must have been stressful for him doing all those hours of driving (10 hours on 2nd May) and hearing me playing with Aaron in the back - or maybe just maybe it made the time go quicker for him. Who knows.  Anyway, I could not afford the flights so it was the only way that we could attend the wedding.

Bye for now, Liska xx




Monday, 13 May 2013

#SpecialK30 BritMums Special K How I’ve Changed Linky Challenge!


 For the first time since 1983, Special K has updated its recipe. If you would like to try it, ensure you get the one with the above header on the box: "NEW delicious 3 grain recipe".
The new recipe contains three grains — rice, wheat and barley (previously there were two) — and is made with wholegrain, for a source of fibre as well as 8 vitamins and minerals. It gives health-conscious, weight-watching women  a tastier breakfast.

We were sent a box a few weeks back, and it was so delicious and yummy that every day I had a bowl, Aaron wanted one too, so much so, that on 1st May we had to go and buy another box.  It was left here whilst we had our 8 days in Ireland but I am very happy to be back to munching a bowl a day on our return.  For some reason I have only had today's now.  Yummy.

It is quite honestly my favourite cereal at the moment.  It also keeps you full up for hours.

Well back to the purpose of this linky THIS is what I looked like, back in 1983.

1983 - aged 10 - where oh where is my fringe????

Digging out this photo confused me somewhat, as I had thought I had worn a fringe (bangs if you are American) all through my childhood, but no, here I am, fringeless!

So I carried on searching and found a photo from my FIRST day at secondary school 1984 where I am still fringeless so the above is my last year at Junior School (4th year as they called it THEN), and is 1983.

Below is the proof that my memory serves me right. I did grow up with a fringe - clearly at some point it went AWOL.  Followed by the 1984 first day at big school photo:

The fringes I wore all through childhood to protect my big spam!

Who stole my fringe? 1984 first day at Secondary School - aged 11.
I can't remember much about 1983 to be honest.  I can't believe I am old enough to say it was 30 years ago.  I suppose it was 30 years ago for everyone regardless of your age then or now ha ha!

A quick Google tells me the sort of music that was around then:


Every Breath You Take Police
2 Girls Just Want To Have Fun Cyndi Lauper
3 Jump Van Halen
4 Flashdance...What a Feeling Irene Cara
5 All Night Long (All Night) Lionel Richie
6 Blue Monday New Order
7 Relax Frankie Goes To Hollywood
8 Time After Time Cyndi Lauper
9 Let's Dance David Bowie
10 Karma Chameleon Culture Club
11 Holiday Madonna
12 Rockit Herbie Hancock
13 She Works Hard For the Money Donna Summer
14 Love is a Battlefield Pat Benatar
15 Radio Free Europe (I.R.S. version) R.E.M.
16 Legs ZZ Top
17 Sunday, Bloody Sunday U2
18 Pink Houses John Cougar Mellencamp
19 Maniac Michael Sembello
20 Photograph Def Leppard
21 Burning Down the House

I am very pleased to say that my memory has not deserted me, and I can hum along to all of them.

Anyway a requirement of this linky is that I tell you how I have changed, since 1983.

Well... it is ironic that the fringe or lack of it, is a highlight of my 1983 photo, as I have not been wearing a fringe for the past 6 months, and can be seen most days wearing a pink headband to allow the light to fully illuminate my third eye ;-) as seen here, on our recent boat trip to Ireland.

Aaron doesn't look happy as we are outside on the boat and he said it was too windy!!!

However, as our recent trip to Ireland was for a wedding, I thought I ought to go for the well groomed look, so here I am back with fringe, on the day of the wedding with Aaron, after a mad last minute dash to the hairdressers on the eve of the wedding. #yikes! 


The above photos seem to have given me a pointy nose.  Makes me look more and more like my dearly departed maternal Grandmother.... I need to lose that... I don't like it.  Thankfully it does not appear in all photos, as can be seen below.  This photo also shows that I am a tad heavier than I was in 1983.  I really DO NOT want to do the maths there to be honest.


Well it was a pleasure to go down memory lane so I am grateful for this linky and now need to put the cupboard back together after going through a dozen packets of photos.

What do you think? Would you recognise the 1983 and the 2013 Liska as the same person? Have I changed a lot?

This post is an entry for the BritMums/Special K “How I’ve changed Linky challenge” and is to celebrate the change in recipe of Special K after 30 years.


If you would like to take part, the link to the BritMums linky post is here

Thinking back to 1984/1985 I was BIG into my cross country running and used to get to school at 07:30 twice a week to run around Alexandra Palace with school friends including my mate Beatrice.  The teacher was a letch so we used to run really fast every time he came near us.  I was very brave going to school that early considering (a) it was DARK and (b) I left home before my Mum and Step Dad were even up yet.

This linky has really made me go down memory lane.

How about you? What were you up to in 1983?



Liska xx

The Boat Journey and Magic Moments

I am joining up with the Oliver's Madhouse Magic Moments linky


Every time me and Aaron go to Ireland we go by plane. He knows the drill, so do I.  We've got it down. We travel alone. We manage.  We are near an airport and the other side, so is my Mum.

So it was with a great deal of trepidation that we embarked on a boat journey which also includes hours and hours in the car.  We were going to a wedding in Ireland and I had no money for the flights, so we asked if we could join my Dad and his wife in the car, being that the wedding was on my Dad's side of the family.

It was a magic moment when the journey begun and Aaron seemed to be quite happy - seemed he would be a great traveller/sailor.



Of course it was the portable DVD player that was many times a life saver, there and back.



He was very excited when we arrived at Holyhead and he could see the boats.



Looking out the window on the boat was a huge novelty.


It was a BEAUTIFUL day for setting sail:


So I took Aaron out on deck, thinking my run around boy would run around. OH NO!

It's too windy Mummy.  Or more like: "It's too windy Mummmmmaaaaayyyy!"


So our next magic moment was him finally settling down for some "me time" [below] so I could hear myself think for 5 minutes!


Look how tranquil he is [above] sitting by the sea.  The boat was relatively empty given that it was May and not August :-)

The real magic moment on any boat journey of course, is when you SEE LAND! Which in this case was Dublin Port.














The arch shown above is NOT on the horizon. It is the "mouth" of the boat opening to let the cars out.  Aaron was fascinated watching it rise.  So much so, that on the way back, when we discovered we were sitting at the wrong end, he wanted us to relocate our seats - errr no! ;-)

There were lots of magic moments on our 8 day holiday but despite leaving Ireland Friday, and it now being MONDAY I am still shattered!  Aaron and Daddy have just this minute gone out and I am too tired to get dressed to join them.  I think I will have a hot bath.

Liska xx

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

The Gallery - Self Portrait

I don't really know where to start with this post.  Tara has set us the prompt of self portrait this week.

I can't use old photos as they are all on my Apple, and it is broken at present (well since Xmas Day to be precise) and wasn't fixed by PC World's KNOW HOW in January despite them having it for 12 days and my paying them £9.99 GBP a month! GGgggrrrr.

Anyway back to the task in hand: The Gallery

TheGallery

Okay, so with what I have access to on this computer this is the best I can do.

Of course it HAD to include a pic of Aaron as HE is my BABY!!!!

I'd actually turned my computer off, when I realised it's Wednesday and The Gallery tomorrow.

I turned it back on to do this ;-)

Please look back though as this is my 4th blog post today.

Liska xx

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Magic Moment When Two Becomes Three

Aaron is NOT yet THREE,
but the change is there for all to see,

or at least it is a change
that is visible to me.

I am his Mum,
I've dealt with the "twos",
But now comes the threes
and there are less of the blues.

As the twos come to an end,
on you I can depend.

You do what your told,
Not quite so bold.

You pass things to me,
You listen to what I say.
Things are easier,
We're making headway.

They call the twos terrible,
They weren't that bad.

We created many memories,
You getting old makes me sad.

But three I can see,
will be so much fun.
It's a few weeks off,
But the change has begun.

My boy is quite different
A little man in the making.
Seeing you blossom,
My heart it is breaking.

It's magic you see,
Seeing what you can be.

You are my little shadow,
the best part of me!

************************

I am entering this post into the Magic Moments linky, as we are having lots of them now.  It's like something has clicked.  Bus journeys are easy! Shopping is easy (that's a slight exaggeration as today WAS stressful, but unlike in the past it was POSSIBLE).  THAT is progress.

You understand every word I say and I understand every word you say.  You are learning at the rate of knots.  Mummy LOVES you so so so much.  Being with you is literally ALL I need.

Love you my little darling son.


Wedding Clothes for a 2 Year Old Boy

I did a tweet today asking whether Aaron should wear a suit to a wedding this Sunday.  The consensus in the MANY and varied helpful replies was no, not for a two year old who'll want to be comfortable and play!

So there husband! Us Mums know best!!!

So off we headed to the shops this afternoon after already having been in the Clarks Factory Shop this morning (see last post).  Yes, a very productive day.  If I told you I got my outfit too, you wouldn't believe me right? But, I did.

Considering I never ever dreamed I could shop with Aaron I am very impressed with our day today.

ALSO got a load of washing out on the line AND back in dry :-)

Anyway HERE is Aaron's capsule wardrobe for Sunday all from TK Maxx

The stripey shorts are not for the wedding but I could not leave the shop without them :-)


Full size photos can be found here: clothes for a 2 year old boy going to a wedding

I have linked to the full size photos as Pic Monkey rotated some of them above :-(

Plus, in the full size shots hopefully you can appreciate the detail.

What with his shoes coming from a Factory Store and his clothes coming from TK Maxx, I am very happy with my budget shopping today.

CAN'T WAIT till I can show you photos of him wearing this lot... (to be continued)...

Liska xxx