World's Gone Mad - Part IV

I wanted my next blog post to only happen once I had met with the boss W tonight but sadly I have another installment.

Due to my 3 page statement, detailing what took place Tuesday, the boss is "investigating" before meeting with me tonight.

As I knew, that would involve speaking to the 2 parents involved (the one who made it via an alternative route and my friend whose son I was minding).

Well my friend just took the call from W, and called me after to update me.

It is not looking good.

The Manager who was with G on Tuesday night locking up, is backing HER version of events (and this was told to my friend - nice!), i.e. that she was "joking" with me, and NOT rude.

Due to this, my friend has already been told I will NOT be receiving an apology as G was NOT rude.

To which my friend told W that she may have to apologise on G's behalf as "L is upset".

Thank God my friend told W we pay a fee and expect a service.  She also told W that she knows me well enough to know I am not exagerating and that I did take it the way I did and am upset.

She was also nice enough to tell W that in the circumstances "she would have been upset too"

W repeated G wasn't rude.

She also told my friend she will be speaking to other people and checking the CCTV.

I HOPE AND PRAY THE CCTV has sound, and I hope my facial expressions and distress are visible on it.

W told my friend that I was unhappy to take Y as I am not his legal guardian (she was reading that out from my statement) but my friend asserted to her that (a) if G hadn't have been rude I would have been and that (b) she would have trusted me to have done so and (c) she said "L wouldn't have liked to have held anyone up so would have done if she'd been spoken to correctly".

God she knows me well.  I would have got my tail out of there quick sharp if I was spoken to courteously, with a comment that started along the lines of "L we are packing up now, are you happy to take Y with you until they arrive, and actually, have you heard from them, are they near?"

Some genuine interest would have gone down a treat.

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Ooooh I need to get myself together as I am upset again now :-(

The World's Gone Mad Part III - what's at stake

Before I meet the Manager tonight (RE: Tuesday night - discussed in my last 2 blog posts), I wanted to get clear in my mind what is at stake here.

My current thoughts are as follows:

1. She is not honest
1. She knew we had "disagreed" yet she kept saying to my friend last night "I was nice to L" and "I wasn't rude to L" and "I was sympathetic".  ALL untrue.
2. She approached my friend by saying "You looked at me and I thought you wanted to talk" - that is a lie as she only said "I am going to speak to Y's Mum" when I asked to speak with W, and had to go off to the nursery room, to find her to do so, which means they did not even talk in private whereas W and I did.
3.  I really cannot at all abide liars, even when it is done to get one out of a fix!
2. She is lacking management skills to have handled Tuesday night the way she did.
3. She has the wrong priorities.  She kept stressing to my friend last night that she is now going to have to write to ALL parents to say that if you get another parent to collect your child they cannot wait in reception.  This seems to be her priority.  Typical public services.  She should first be making this right with the people that participated in what took place.  With public services I have noticed it is all about policy and procedure.  You know what? I am happy with that but where were they on Tuesday night? They were severely lacking!
4. All of this proves to me that I did the right thing in going above her head because
1. She just doesn't get it.
2. She seems manipulative (going to Y's Mum to "get her on side") 
3. Because she doesn't "get it" I would never have got an apology, so going formal is the only way that will happen.
4. Looking after children's welfare DOES NOT stop when a clock strikes 18:14.  I stress again what I have stressed before.  What if one of them had got run over.  It was my first time collecting Aaron in the dark and neither of them had a buggy and they are both only 2 years old.
5. She doesn't have empathy, sympathy, or the good grace to see when she is being insensitive.
6. Parents (as well as the children) need to be treated with respect.
7. You do NOT argue with somebody about what THEY agreed to, when they KNOW what they agreed to.  And at no point between 6 and 6:15 did she attempt to speak to me, or call Y's Mum (on Tuesday).
8. This morning I have had to sign a consent form, so that Aaron can meet and handle reptiles and spiders at 10 a.m. yet I did not have to sign a form to say that I was collecting "Y" (a) because the people that gave him to me KNEW that I was only waiting in reception with him and (b) that means there wasn't the paperwork trail to back up what G was insisting to me, meaning that if (c) the worst happened on the way home, she would not have had a (paper) leg to stand on, if I said all of the things I am saying now.  Meaning she should be humble enough or human enough, that when someone tells you WHAT they agreed to, you should either (a) make a new agreement and (b) believe them.
5. I say "make a new agreement", as say it had all gone very differently, where they WERE still stuck at station X, AND it got so late that I DID have to leave, and say she WAS nice about asking me to leave. Then she should have been saying, I need you to sign Y out, so that you are assuming parental control for him.  THIS WAS NOT DONE.  And you know what, even if it was not that formal, all she needed to have done, was be pleased that they were near.  Remember my original post, I went to her to say I have phoned them and they are one stop away.  She did not give a shit...! Why not? She stops being professional just because the little hand says 6 and the big hand says 15 (or rather 14)?????

Anyway, it will be very interesting to see what happens when I meet W tonight.

She is going to speak to everyone I named.  Only trouble is, the parent who was also delayed, who took a different route and did get there.  The one who was in reception with me and witnessed it all.  Despite being a "friend" I know he doesn't want to get involved.  While we walked down the road and before the delayed parents pulled up in their car, (Tuesday) he did not want to talk about it (I think he was stressed at the journey he had just gone through to try and get there on time) - if he says the same to the nursery, when W calls him today, it will be my word against G's and I don't want to get into that arena :-(

It is a shame as he is very outspoken and very opinionated and I know he'd feel the same if he was on the receiving end of what I was, so I hope he has my back on this one.

If this really kicks off, I could lose 2 friends (both other parents) and I would be GUTTED if that happens.

Anyway, one of the reasons I am doing this is to ensure that G never speaks to another parent the way she did to me, so I hope I at least get that result out of it.

A couple of people on Facebook have told me I should complain to Offsted but I have checked and they have ZERO complaints so I DO NOT want to rock the boat by being the first.

Update to come later once I have met W at 17:30 - give me chance to get home though first eh... :-)

Liska xx

The World HAS Indeed Gone Mad - PART II

So the update.

Last night I put together a 3 page Word document which is my contemporaneous statement as to what factually took place.

I printed it this morning and had it in my pocket when I dropped Aaron off.

As I walked passed the reception desk neither Manager was in.

On my way out, after dropping off Aaron, as I went out of the double doors the Deputy (the one from last night) passed me and said "Hello" or "Good Morning" and I just kept on going and left.  But as I left I asked at the desk if the Manager would be in today and they said "this evening" (I did not know at that point that they were having a staff meeting tonight).

Anyway in case I misheard/misunderstood I telephoned this afternoon and asked for her and was told she would be in at 6 p.m.

So once again this evening I had the statement in my pocket.

As I walked down the corridor AFTER having collected Aaron I came face to face with, first of all my friend, on her way IN to collect her son, and then them both (Manager and Deputy) and said "W can I speak to you?".  The Deputy in direct counter response said "I am going to speak to Y's Mum" and went into the childcare nursery room, to follow my friend, but only as a response to me asking to speak to her boss.

So you have G going in to one room to talk to Y's Mum who is collecting her son, where they will talk (not in private) and me and W going into a private room.

Now I have to split this tale in two to say what took place with me and W and what took place with my friend and G.

Me and W (The Children's Centre Manager)
We entered a room full of toys where we could speak in private and Aaron could play.  I handed her the statement and she said "Do you want to talk to me about it?" to which I said "No I don't want it to be coloured by emotion I would rather you read the facts as stated there".

She started to read it and then thought better of it and said "it is silly for me to read this with you watching" but as I got side tracked playing with Aaron she ended up reading the whole thing.

Afterwards she said "I will investigate this tomorrow by speaking to everyone you have named here, and meet you tomorrow evening".  We then chatted about what time would suit us both and agreed to meet at 17:30 tomorrow.  She said "I cannot comment on what you have stated here, until I investigate" to which I said "that is understandable and what I had expected".  Then I went on to say "I was shook when I left here yesterday and shook for 3 hours and as a result did not even make Aaron dinner.  She looked sympathetic and repeated that she would meet with me tomorrow.

My friend and G
I only know what took place here, because my friend called me when she got home.  I didn't wait for her to leave with her as I had no idea when I left that they were still there.

So G broached the subject by saying "You looked at me and I thought you wanted to speak with me" (which is a lie - she only made that move after I said I wanted to speak to W and they didn't make eye contact, as me and my friend were talking in the corridor and similarly G and W were talking).

Anyway my friend apologised for causing any complications and G said "now I am going to have to write to all the parents and say that if you collect a child for someone you cannot wait in reception".

When my friend explained "I think L is more concerned with the WAY you spoke to her", she said "no, we were laughing and joking and X was there and Z was there....".

(Yes SHE was laughing and joking but she knew full well that I was not).

When my friend said I think L would have been fine if you had been nice to her she said "I was nice to L" and "SHE didn't want to leave the premises with YOUR child and was unhappy to take responsibility for YOUR child".

To which my friend said "I fully trust her with my son, and would have been happy for her to leave with him, I think L was just unhappy with the way you spoke to her".

She kept repeating (G) that I was not happy to leave to look after him.

And my friend kept repeating that I would have been fine to, had she delivered the message in the correct way.

My friend also stressed that she HAD agreed that I just look after him at reception but that she had assumed that if worse came to worse I would take him home if necessary.

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Anyway the long and short of it is that G doesn't deck how she spoke to me even though we were literally arguing over her insisting that SHE knew what I had agreed to (excuse me!), i.e. she was telling ME yesterday that I had agreed to "collect him" and wouldn't hear different, even though she was talking to the horse's mouth, me being the horse.

She seems more conerned with (a) blackening my name that I had concerns about leaving and being ultimately responsible for Y (b) denying that she was rude (c) speaking to Y's Mum before her boss does and (d) stressing that she will need to write to everyone without (d) ever saying that she would apologise to me or (e) apologising to Y's Mum for her inflexibility in not waiting the further 7 minutes it took them to arrive!!!!!!

Anyway her refusal to see her part in it has made me realise I have done the right thing in complaining as (a) it means she cannot "read" people despite being a Manager (it was obvious last night I wasn't accepting her jokes and her phrases "kicking out") (b) it means she would have continued to walk over people like that and (c) they need to review their procedures!

I hope I have explained the above well enough for you all to understand and to get an insight into what it was like this evening.

Let's see what tomorrow brings....

And how I would have preferred last night to run

1. She should have SPOKEN to me, to say "we're going soon is Y or D nearby".
2. She should have perhaps given us a 5 minute count down warning.
3. She should have been sympathetic.
4. She shouldn't have started lights out at 18:14 if they close at 18:15 (were was the degree of flexibility?)
5. She should have explored the late fee option.
6. She should have said "if they are not nearby, what have you and D agreed?" to which (if I was spoken to professionally I would have said "nothing", but I would have started to consider options)
7. When I said they were nearby, she should have been happy instead of responding with "it doesn't made a difference, I would still have been kicking you out"
8. What I am trying to say is she should have exercised some (a) management skills (b) diplomacy and (c) customer service skills and should (d) be able to read people well enough to know that they are receiving your jokes as being the butt of them, and the banter is ONE way and not being taken well.
9. Ultimately I am a goody two shoes so if she sent me on a guilt trip that they NEEDED to go home, you couldn't have got me out of there quick enough (I don't want to get under people's feet or delay them) but when you use phrases like "kick me out" and don't even act happy when I am clearly happy that they ARE nearby, then you're going to get my back up