Thursday, 3 February 2011

Granny Kathleen


Hello Kathleen,

(as you made me call you all through my childhood, till Gran became the norm)

Well, I now have gone through several milestones which have taught me that you really are no longer here.  You are indeed there....

The "man" at the airport said "Is this the baby's first trip to Ireland?"
To which we said "yes"
and he said
"welcome home".

They haven't said that at the airport in at least 15 years...

He then said "shall I stamp his passport?"
to which we said
"YES PLEASE"...

Then when re-telling the story to Auntie Cora it HIT me like a knife in my heart and pings in both eyes and a lump in my throat, that it would have been Kathleen who would have been giving that vibe of "baby's first trip to Ireland"........ the feeling the "man" gave me, was soooooo close to the feeling she would have done... Maybe you were working through the man, and he was your angel for the day? doing your heavenly deed? in the most oddest of places: an airport.... But when Gran wants to welcome her youngest to Ireland she finds a way?

While talking to Cora I cried and cried.  Heightened by the fact that she has just recently lost her Mum... My Gran was her husband's Mum, my Mum's Mum... So shortly after supporting her husband in grief, she was grieving herself... When the tears were at a peak she showed me a wedding photo that was coincidentally well within her reach.  Her son's wedding, where he and his beautiful wife were flanked by the 2 Grans... You see I have lost the ONE, but Cora's 5 children have lost both of their Grans...  But on the day we arrived Cora hosted a beautiful Sunday dinner for us.  Again the vibe was "welcome home" and the guest of honour... my baby... my beautiful wonderful baby boy, Aaron.

Then a walk to the "lawns" with baby in pushchair provokes a crying session, that is tender, heartfelt and heart opening, and I am saying a fond goodbye to Gran again...  The memories are in the air... I can see her standing at the door, saying hello, saying goodbye... but it is in the ether... it is NOT real...

A trip to the "grave" brings about no such feelings and confirms to me 100% that you are NOT there... YOU have moved on... YOU are not a trapped soul, with earthly issues still to be solved and thought over... you are a cleansed soul who has run off home, in record time, with a bounce in her step and a little cheerful look over her shoulder...

So Gran what will be the next milestone that'll let me know that you are no longer here?

Well I don't mind... heaven feels closer than Ireland, so I have more access to you now... I can talk to you without the need of a phone, and feel confident that you are looking down on me and Aaron... after all you were already a heavenly body for his birth and transition to earth.

I love you and won't say I miss you, rather I remember you fondly, sincerely and with a huge heart...

Thanks for being a phenomenon and a formidable person... You have left a legacy...

Liska x

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I wrote the above on Facebook on Wednesday... added it to here Thursday and discovered Dear So and So on Friday (which it wasn't written for) but no harm joining in :-)

Sorry it's not light-hearted like the others...

Dear So and So...

3 comments:

  1. what a beautiful letter xxxx

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  2. I now have tears flowing down my face. I wish I had your faith and feelings, but at the moement I dont. Thank you for introducing me to this and to you

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  3. Thanks for your comments on my blog, it really cheered me up that people were being so lovely (:
    And yes, I am Wendy's daughter!! She introduced me to the world of blogging.

    You forwarded me to this post and I am glad you did because it is beautiful- really made me think about my lovely old great nan. They do leave huge marks on our lives, don't they??

    Look forward to reading more on your blog.

    Megan xxx

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Drop me a line, and I will visit you right back - as soon as I get chance. Thanks for your comment.