Tales From Mr Onion

When I was decluttering and cleaning recently I stumbled across Mr. Onion, and intended on blogging about him on Conscious Mum but ended up blogging about him here.

A little about Mr.Onion

• He's half the man he once was. In fact someone cut him down to size.
• He was abandoned, left unnoticed on a cluttered worktop.
• He had no water, no soil and just about managed to get some light.
• He reached into the inner darkest depths of himself and did the only thing he knew how to!
• He grew.
• Once his landlady found Mr.Onion, she started giving him lots of attention.
• His landlord was not nearly as fond, and escorted him to the bin.
• Lucky, the landlady saved Mr.Onion and continued to give him admiring glances.
• These glances mean nothing to Mr.Onion.
• He does not have an ego.
• He enjoys the feeling that his presence has added value to the landlady's life, but doesn't give it much thought.
• Despite Mr.Onion now being a member of the family, he still has neither soil nor water.
• Yet continues to grow.
• His green shoots are as green today as they were when the landlady found him.
• Neither the landlady nor Mr.Onion know how many days he has left, but they will both enjoy life until all becomes clear.
• Mr.Onion is an inspiring member of the family showing what is possible, if we embrace our strengths whilst ignoring our weaknesses.
• Mr. Onion has no friends, but is strong in his solitude.
• The landlady likes this about him.
• He is very photogenic.
• She loves this too.
• In fact, Mr.Onion has a very special place in the landlady's heart, and she has learned more from him than she ever did from 10 years of yoga.
• So Mr. Onion, how do you do it?
• Teach us your trick.
• Your youthful green looks and your cheeky grounded base, which is looking rather wooden and at home are something to behold.
• Your shape shifting from a mere onion to a Spring Onion has left the landlady in awe.
• Such is your beauty she would never dream of eating you.
• You need no words Mr. Onion, as with all good sages, you demonstrate your power with your growth and inner radiance that simply projects and shines.
• Mr. Onion the landlady is all the wiser for having met you.
• Thank you Mr.Onion for demonstrating, so beautifully, how no matter how much of you is stripped or cut away, even halved, growth is still possible.
• Reaching for the stars, from within, is always possible.
• Upwards growth is the key isn't it Mr.Onion, as Yogi Bhajan always said, when you can't do anything about your longitude or latitude, do something about your attitude by choosing your ALTITUDE.
• RISE UP!!!!!

Fakeaway Pizza Just Got Better

Well when I say JUST got better that is a little white lie. I may have been sent the press release in APRIL and I may only have bought the pizzas yesterday. Eaten both today. But I got there in the end and boy was it worth the wait!

The big winners from the recession have been the supermarkets, as we all eat in now more than we ever have.

Fakeaway is now a buzz word! I can only find references to it online from 2008/2009 onwards so unless dear reader you can prove me wrong, I am thinking it emerged WITH the recent recession? Even back in 2012 the cost of food was already starting to spiral:

the annual food bill for the average family will be over £4,000, up from £2,766 last year.

Again, from 2012, this Guardian article contains many a deep quote but this one struck me:

"Food doesn't mean anything nice to me any more. It just makes me feel stressed," he says. "The cheap things we can afford are so tasteless and pointless that I often can't even be bothered to eat."

So, when tightening our belts, a takeaway is out of the question but a fakeaway is not.

What I particularly LOVE about these pizzas is the realistic takeaway boxes they come in. They cook in 12-14 minutes and not many pizza delivery companies deliver THAT quick. You can't even moan that your delivery would come with dip as Tesco have that covered too.

So look in your chilled cabinet for something like this:

We got the cheese feast one and the pepperoni one.

They both had a stuffed crust and were both divine.

As you'll see from the pic above they are currently 3.75 pounds each or two for a fiver. I opted for the latter.

I was able to shop at my leisure as Aaron had stayed in the car with Daddy:

Yes I got a sneaky Costa Coffee when leaving the store ;-)

So I bought both pizzas yesterday when we did our weekly food shop, but actually ate them today, downed with Amigos (Tequila flavoured beer) I bought whilst there.

Yes, on a Thursday I was drinking beer. Back in my work days, pre-children, we used to call that a "school night" - nothing to do with kids or being responsible Aly. Just that it's not the weekend.

The pizza really is delicious, and I eat a lot of pizza so am a bit of an authority in my house at least.

They taste premium, due to the dough I have tried to give you a close up shot of. The stuffed crust is divine. A really lovely touch is the dip, but because I am not used to having that with a pizza I have cooked myself I totally forgot to use it. I have two small slices of each flavour pizza left though, with a pot to go with each pair, as pictured. But considering me and Aaron ate the pizzas, I think I will leave those slices and dip for Daddy when he gets home late from work.

Even though I think these pizzas are superb I wouldn't give them 10 out of 10, as my current favourite thing is when pizza has sun dried tomatoes and mozzarella on top, but that is a purely personal phase I am going through. Once I am over that, I'd say these come close at a 9 out of 10.

If you fancy them, get them whilst they're on offer.

I think I have whet the appetite of a few people over on Instagram.

Disclosure: I was sent a Tesco voucher to enable me to make this purchase. I was not told what to say and remain honest. Also, they haven't hounded me, despite me having the voucher since April. Eeeek, thank you Tesco, loves ya! Especially as you were the only company on the planet nice enough to invite me to your Christmas in July event - sorry that I was not able to make it. xxxxx