Why did you have children? How have they changed your life?

Hi

I write this post for

Due to their Do Something Yummy campaign http://www.yummymummy.org.uk/
brought to my attention by the awareness Nickie is raising by hosting these weekly writing prompts  here here and here.

Nickie gave 3 writing prompts:

1. Personal post.  Why did you have children?  How have they changed your life?
2. Yummy post. 
3. Creative writing.

I chose the 1st one.

Over to my post.  But after writing that, I am now scratching my grey matter to come up with a fund raising idea.  I may just have thought of one.  I will let it simmer a while.

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I started trying for a baby on Good Friday 2009.  April.

I had wanted to since 2007 (and before) but was far far far too scared of labour.  Proper scared.

Anyway, along comes the beginning of 2009 and I say to hubby I am too overweight to get pregnant, "give me a few weeks I'll do a detox" - I even wrote posts about trying to lose weight here, but proceeded not to lose any.  I didn't admit on that blog that my goal for weight loss was trying to start a family.  April came, and I was still the same size.

So roll on Good Friday and we are in Ikea, and I am looking at scented candles.  A heavily pregnant lady walked passed and I looked at her. Her radiance connected with me on a really really deep level and I bawled like a baby, right there in Ikea.

The minute we got home, we made love on the sofa.

I got pregnant, from that 1st attempt, but, a few week later, we had implantation failure..... most wouldn't know and would think they were late, and that it was a heavier than normal period. I am normally neither and am consistent, for like 25 years +.

Anyway, we tried every month from April till September and the only thing that got me through it was Net Mums.

The longer time went on, the more I wanted my baby. It was all consuming. I read about it, talked about it, didn't think about anything else.

And for me, having been a workaholic, I needed it to be like that. I would have taken it for granted if it came too soon. I needed to need, I needed to wait, I needed to nurture that space inside me, and I needed to long... long for my creation.

I wrote the below poem on Friday 18th September 2009. When I wrote it, I was pregnant, and did not know...... as I was in the famous 2 weeks waiting..... My last cycle started 31st August 2009.

(I retain all creative rights and copyright - ha ha ha).

I am a spiritual lady who so dearly wants a baby
I would oh so like the bump I'm impatient, got the hump
two weeks worth of waiting is getting really grating
But I do really love this thread Gets it all out of my head
A little girl or a boy Will be my pride and joy
Oh Lord when will it be that my beloved child I will see
I love you. I want you.

I posted it on netmums at the time. Thankfully I just found it (by wading through the forum which was quite time consuming).

I also started this blog before I was pregnant. A bit ambitious I know.

This was my 1st post, here on this blog.

Bye for now, Liska and my pride and joy Aaron xxx

Good Friday

Hi

Good Friday will always hold a special place in my heart as it is the day that in 2009 we started trying to conceive - I will never forget it.

I had put off trying for a baby for years and years and years for a whole host of reasons, only 1 of which was being terrified of labour.

Anyway we went to Ikea that Good Friday and I was looking at candle holders and a pregnant lady walked passed.  I looked at her and started bawling crying - don't know where it came from but it was deep and it was cathartic.

Suffice to say, we started trying that very day - on the sofa no less - I KNOW TMI!!!!!

And just a few small months later, the seed was set that became the Aaron that is now my bouncing baby boy and bundle of joy.  My little shadow.  Although now he moves so fast I think I am his shadow :-)

Lots of love,
Liska xxx