Yes, I say that, school's nearly out, but for me it's NURSERY is nearly out and SCHOOL is nearly to begin :-(
For me, September is LOOMING LARGE.
Yet, in November 2010, we looked like this:
As much as I sometimes say "I need a break" from Aaron, the thought of his little self starting school fills me with heartbreak. He's my little shadow.
I have avoided blogging about those feelings, which is stupid of me. I might find someone who's feeling the same, if I get it out there.
That feeling of no longer having a pre-schooler... The feeling of not being a Mum between 08:45 and 15:30, FIVE days a WEEK......... What will I do with myself?
Now THAT is the question... BUT it is not the issue. I am resourceful, dynamic and hard working. I will deal with that when the time comes. The issue is losing my little fella to the system!
Feels like I am sending him off for 14 years. Feels like I lose him a little. Do I? Will I?
I just love him so so so very much. I want to be there for every moment that he needs me.
I lay awake late one night reading a post by Ruth at Rock'n'Roller Baby: Starting Big School, who explains it so beautifully; it is a post that made me cry. A post I wish I could write, but the words are in my heart not on my keyboard. Actually my comment on it was 08:56 p.m. so maybe it wasn't quite as late as I thought, but I'm sure I read it on my phone in bed and we don't go to bed that early..... confused but my memory is nothing like it once was.
So, I want to do a sort of bucket list of things I want Aaron and I to do, before September and I want to run a weekly linky called:
I kind of have linky fatigue, as the last few I have run, kind of fizzled out and two of them were copied, but considering my subscription for LINKY TOOLS came out of my account the other day, what the hell.
My brainstorm of a list for now:
- Decorate Aaron's bedroom
- Get him a bunk bed
- Buy his school uniform
- Go to Thomas Land for the FOURTH time!
- Stay the night in Drayton Manor Hotel for the SECOND time.
- Get lots of photos of me and him (we've already started this)
- Get lots of videos of me and him (there are not nearly enough of these)
- Get him ready for school (he's currently saying he does not want to go)
- Possibly get a visit to Ireland in
- We've already done the beach TWICE (Southend and Weston Super Mare)
- We've already done Peppa Pig World
- We've done the zoo, twice, in recent weeks.
- We've been busy :-)
That list above is a cop out really as that is not what this post is about. It's just me trying to cathartically get it out there, that I am sad about September looming large and will be doing EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to enjoy these Summer months.
If however you would like a decent Summer Bucket List also written with a pre-schooler, about to be Schooler, in mind, then head over to Treading on Lego.
I know one day he will drive a car, get a job, get married, but until then, he's my little boy
I just hope school treats you as good as I do. I hope you make lots of friends. I hope you love your teacher. I hope you still like cuddles. I hope you RUN through those school gates when the school bell rings. I hope nothing changes, though of course, EVERYTHING will.
I love you Aaron