Friday 4 January 2013

The Thing About Grief

... Is that the silliest and smallest of things can set you off.

As you'll know from my last 2 blog posts @MultipleMummy sadly passed away on 14th December.
I am on the way to the thanksgiving service and have right now changed at Liverpool Street. Easily done I had thought...


I wandered over to platform 14 and all I could see in my mind's eye was Kerry walking away from me with a beautiful bob and a mac and bags. 

Everytime we went to London events we travelled to Liverpool Strret together and I always watched and waved as she walked to her platform and then I to mine.

Just like a movie THAT image popped into my mind unbeckoned just now and it was with a very heavy heart and HUGE lump in my throat that I retraced her steps to get on an Essex train thinking Kerry this should be you.

The thing with grief is it charges at you like a truck on the motorway and you have no time to duck out of its way before BOOM. It's like you're busy looking in the rear view mirror and it hits from the front taking you unawares.

I was feeling strong today. I was putting my grief on a shelf ready to be strong for the family.

I did not predict that a very simple meander across Liverpool Street's concourse would quite literally knock me for six...

Kerry I can see you so so clearly in my mind's eye. 

EVERY time we've said goodbye at Liverpool Street is now flashing before my eyes like some kind of cruel slideshow...

God, please look after Kerry. You've taken one of life's best treasures....




  1. Oh hun. Hugs. Really feel for you and Kerry's family. I've only ever lost relatives who I didn't see often and while I was sad, it can't be on this kind of scale, so I can't quite imagine what you are going through. I hope expressing it helps. I know it does for me with my feelings. xxxx

    1. I previously have only ever lost elderly relatives, so it is tough. She was as large as life which makes it harder. The injustice of knowing she has left behind a loving husband and 3 young children is tough too.
      Thanks for visiting and commenting.
      Liska x


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