And Then I Got High

It has always been my belief that the reason the current generation feels the need to chase alcohol, drugs and fame, in a way we never did, or to be more accurate, our parents never did, is because they are chasing something... That something is a high. You see, when we are born, we are close to "source". You can see the light shining from children's eyes, and depending on their experiences, as they get older that light gets fainter, and for some is extinguished altogether. It is our job as parents to keep them joyful and protected, so that the joy shines forth from their eyes - from their soul - for as long as possible.

I used to get my "high" from Kundalini Yoga. Both as a teacher and as a student. Stupidly, I then started to get it from my career, which became my baby. On maternity leave, I swapped that baby for a real baby. The only trouble being is that kids rob us of energy, because they "need" us. Unless we have a way of topping that energy up, we struggle.

And struggle I have.

Children need us to be their life source to take over where God left off, and that means we in turn need to be close to God. In the Piscean Age we were wrongly taught that we had to go to a Church to access God, but as the Churches fall in favour and spiritualism rises, we discover as the East has known for thousands of years that God is within each and every one of us, and can be accessed daily, ourselves, by prayer, meditation and mindfulness.

I have been saying on social media that I would get back to yoga, back on the mat, when Aaron returned to school on Monday 5th January, but instead, I have been decluttering. I have set up two shelves in my sitting room as a kind of "altar" and I have been getting ready.

Friday I decided I wanted to do a Celestial Communication to the mantra Gobinde Mukunde. I searched You Tube for ages whilst Aaron was at school, but I could not find one with the mudras I know and like. I then remembered I had a "Mantras in Motion" DVD and spent a ridiculous amount of time looking for it.

Saturday I got cross at one point, and looked for it, and as if it was meant to be, found the DVD immediately. I put it on, and did the meditation I wanted and as I remembered it WAS the sequence of mudras I wanted to practice; that I LOVE! But I went through the DVD and did the others too, and one in particular made me feel HIGH - luckily it IS on You Tube so I can share it with you, but watching that doesn't give me the same high as the DVD, probably because with the DVD I was DOING IT. THAT connection WITH the divine, but within and without us, as if you have a wifi connection with your higher self and source, as if your whole body is feeling joy at a cellular level. I cried, as I thought "why have I denied myself this feeling for nearly 5 years!!!!???" More importantly, before they incarnate, souls choose their parents, and Aaron chose a Mum who frequently radiated that joy and that isn't what he got.

I short-changed him, and myself, and it stops today.

I need to become the person I was born to be.

Anyhow this is the Celestial Communication that I am talking about, that gave me that HIGH:

Time to ditch the sack cloth and ashes, and the horse hair. Time to stop radiating "woe is me". Time to start living and stop dying.

I know I rock and roll when I am connected to source.

When I am high, others feel it too. As that old quote goes, when we are being ourselves we give others permission to do the same, and THAT is so important, as we then create a ripple effect of change, that is as strong as any online petition.

I know when I am happy, I smile with my eyes as well as my mouth and that is what I used to be known for. I was happy a lot. First one to arrive at any party and last one to leave. Current me, is like "what party?!?!" - I don't think the parent blogging world even knows the real me, as I kind of left her behind, and the length of time I did so, is quite frankly becoming too long.

Aaron's old enough to know personalities now, and to be influenced by them. I want him to know a Mum, who was the Mum he chose.

Oh and when I played that "Mantras in Motion DVD" he was in the room and smiled at me as I did the moves and sung along. I was sitting cross legged throughout, as the movements are all done with your arms (apart from a couple of standing ones) and at one point he clambered on to my lap, which is such a lovely feeling, as when cross legged it's like he is climbing in to a bowl, and sharing the meditative energy I have created.

Now Aaron is very sensitive to energy. In people's houses he will literally turn photos to face the wall if he does not like them, so for him to love the DVD, well that said it all for me. It was and is good! He knows it! I know it! I need to do more of it.

My white sheepskin rug (Kundalini Yoga) style is still in front of the TV, waiting to be used again.

At some point I am even going to do sadhana for 40 days, which really will be life changing.

Oh, and I don't mind that I didn't hit the ground running with yoga on 1st or 5th January, as Imbolc is coming, 1st Feb, which is the Pagan start of Spring and my birthday. It is also about purification. So I think THAT is why I have been clearing my soul, my mind and my clutter. I am getting ready.

Are you?

Edit: it's now 15th January and the daily celestial communication meditation carried on. Aaron drums in tune with the mantras. As such, my mat and the drums have stayed near the TV where I watch the DVD (not quite ready to do yoga by myself yet, having neither taught nor practiced since 2010).

Bye for now,
Liska
@NewMumOnline

I am linking this post to Brilliant Blog Posts over at Honest Mum, as although the post itself may not be brilliant, the fact I am finally back into yoga is indeed.