New Mum Fun. Guest post number 2 from Emily who blogs at Tea Lady Mumbles

The second in a series of guest posts where new mums online, share their Mum stories for #NewMumFun with me.  Enjoy!

Hi I'm Emily and I blog at www.tealadymumbles.co.uk. I am Mum to Nancy who is almost 10 months old. I started blogging in January this year (2013) and I started because I wanted to document how I experienced being a first time mum. I also wanted to share my experiences and pass on some advice I has come across about pregnancy and how I overcame an ectopic pregnancy. 

Was your labour everything you thought it would be?

I was 12 days overdue when I was admitted to be induced. 2 days and a bit later, and I had my little girl. Being induced was not a nice experience. Nothing in my birth plan happened! I wrote about my birth story on my blog ( http://www.tealadymumbles.co.uk/my-birth-story/) and I also also blogged about my feelings about the birth and what happened after - I was in hospital for almost a week due to feeding issues. It was a very stressful time for me and one I'd rather not experience again. 

Favourite products you couldn't live without?

I love my buggy - a baby jogger city mini GT. It has even great since the start, and should last until she is a toddler. It's so easy to use and fold down and fits in my tiny car boot! 

Muslin Squares - brilliant things that I use for everything! 

Bonjela Teething gel, calpol and ambesol - I always have these well stocked in my house for teething episodes!

Waitrose baby bottom butter - smells gorgeous and is so kind to baby's skin. 

Brother max bath sprinkler toy - this is so good, a toy and a scoop for water to wash them with, all at the same time. I love it, and so does Nancy. 

What do you wish you'd known prior to being a Mum?

I wish I'd known how difficult breastfeeding would be. I really struggled and I don't think the information they give you antenatally really prepares you at all for what breastfeeding is really like. I also wish I'd known a bit more about slings, and cloth nappies, as these are something I wish I'd tried from the beginning. I wish I'd been a bit braver and stuck to my own opinions and instincts, and not second guessed myself all the time! 

What you'd tell any Mum right now if they wanted top tips:

Follow your heart and your instincts, you are usually right.

There's no such thing as doing something 'wrong' when you're a mum. We all do things differently, it doesn't matter. 

Try getting out the house at least once a day - it makes all the difference.

I loved baby massage, it was a great first group to attend with Nancy. 

Anything you do differently, i.e. are you a Gina Ford or a Peaches Geldoff? 

I don't think I do things too differently. I guess I am a very laid back mum. I encourage Nancy to explore and experiment, and sometimes this includes things others may not let their baby use - for example the other day she wanted to eat off my fork, and recently we played with glitter. We are not very girly, Nancy doesn't dress up in frills or headbands (I've tried - she just takes them off and tries to destroy them!) and she hasn't worn any sort of shoe until very recently, as she has started to take a few steps. We don't care what colour her clothes are, she wears boys clothes as well as girls clothes, and she has a mix of toys from boyish to more girl focused. Nancy eats what we eat, we have done baby led weaning from the start, and she has taken to it really well. She has been bottle fed since 3.5 months, and she has a dummy she can't sleep without. We have a sequence of events, rather than a timetable or schedule. As long as she has her dinner, bath, bottle, bed routine at night, whatever the time, she will sleep. We just take each day as it comes, and take it from there really. I have taken bits and pieces of all sorts of methods and incorporated them into our lives. We take bits we like and give them a go. So far, so good! 

What's most rewarding about being a new Mum?

Surviving! Looking at your baby and knowing you're doing your best, they are clothed, fed, bathed, and happy, and you have done that for them. The sense of achievement and the bond you create, it's like a secret club and only you two know the secret language! I never thought a newborn baby would interact or give you anything back, so I was so surprised when I found out they do, they give you so much, and say so much even though they can't even speak! 

What's the biggest challenge? 

Sleepless nights, not knowing what to do to calm your baby, when they are upset. Feeling like you don't know the answers - you ask for advice and no one ever tells you what to do, you have to make the decision. Making decisions about your baby can be a big challenge - I'd never had to think about some of these things before such as immunisations, when hey are ill what to give them, what to feed them, etc. 

Does blogging give you access to an online village of Mums or is it a hobby? How is blogging part of your life as a new Mum?

Blogging has helped me so much, so has being part of an online community through twitter. I have made some real friends, people who I instantly connect with, through blogging, and having people give me advice and support, especially in the early days, was invaluable. I love blogging, I love the sense of community, friendship and support. I love that there is always someone out there who has been in your shoes, who can relate, and who can help you. I have also found it very cathartic to write about how I feel, to discuss my feelings honestly and openly, and to just get it out of my head. The fact that people have read these mumblings of mine still amazes me!  

Emily

Blogger and Tea Drinker Extraordinaire 

Blog: www.tealadymumbles.co.uk

Twitter: @ladyemsy (personal) @EmilyTealady (blog account)

Facebook: www.facebook.com/tealadymumbles

***

Thank you Emily I really enjoyed that.  Here's me and my Aaron when he was a newborn:

Drop me a line at liska BB at gmail dot com if you would like to join in the #NewMumFun

The Orange Biscuit Barrel: The power of childhood memories

This is a guest post by author Shanta Everington:

 

After I had my son, six years ago, I started having vivid flashbacks from my own childhood.

Photo credit: Keith Riley Whittingham http://www.flickr.com/photos/bagoogoo/

My earliest proper memory is of the orange, plastic, biscuit barrel. It had a black lid and was filled up with chocolate digestives, Bourbons, pink wafers and custard creams. I would have been two years and ten months old. I was sat outside with Daddy and Nanna, stuffing biscuits into my mouth in an attempt to fill up the gaping hole in my belly; it was the first time I'd been without my mummy for any stretch of time, and she was having my baby sister. Despite it being the seventies and us being hippies and everything, it was nonetheless deemed right and proper that Mummy should give birth in hospital with all the proper medical supplies on hand. Besides, she didn't want my dad in the way. Home birth? No thank you, very much.

Daddy came back from the hospital with two plastic dolls in boxes. One for me and one for my older sister. My doll's name was Jackie. She had fine straight honey coloured hair, and she was wearing a gold threaded outfit. She was the kind of doll I would have loved under ordinary circumstances. But I couldn't love Jackie; how I hated her. Because she was here and Mummy wasn't. I don't remember the moment Mummy came home with my little sister. I don't remember hating the new baby, although I'm sure part of me must have. But poor Jackie got it.

The next vivid memory is of wetting my knickers in the hallway of my parents' house. I remember there were lots of children running up and down and out into the garden. Was it a party? Somebody's birthday? Was it mine? My sister's? I remember the knickers that I loved – plain with a small cute character on the front. I seem to remember a bear. I remember wee running down my leg and making a puddle on the floor. I remember going to tell Mummy. I think I was crying. I remember Mummy cleaning it up quietly and hugging me and saying it didn't matter and me feeling stupid anyway. I remember being taken upstairs for a clean pair and not wanting to take the special bear pair off even though they were sodden.

Now I am in nursery. Am I three? I am threading opaque plastic shapes onto a long plastic tube. I am making a necklace. Something is wrong. I am crying. A falsely jolly fat woman with tight curly hair is saying, “It's not the end of the world, is it? It's not the end of the world.” I remember her words precisely. Although I could not understand the meaning of the phrase, I found it mocking. I didn't like her. She was not my mummy.

Why do we always remember the bad stuff: the fear, the disappointment, the shame? Is it a warning, a lesson in empathy? Be careful with your child! This is how they will feel! This is the enormity of that moment that you never forgot!

Photo credit: James West  http://www.flickr.com/photos/jameswest/

Recently, I asked my mum to get out some old photo albums, so we could look back at all the good stuff – the paddling pool in the back garden, the family holidays by the coast, making mince pies at Christmas.

‘Oh, look at you,’ says Mum, through her smile, transported back.

I see myself as a young girl, crouching on the grass, holding a bucket, dress bunched up around my legs. I'm smiling out from my tangled mane with my whole face, looking at the camera and saying, 'Here I am!'

‘Look at that one!’ says Mum, eyes wide. ‘Look at Dad! Oh my God, look at my hair!’

She's back there. She's looking at them all one by one. She's drinking them in. She's especially proud of that picture of me and my older sister that won a photography prize. A back view of two girls peering over a fence, long chestnut hair tumbling over pale skin, naked except for two identical pairs of red wellies. I doubt it would even get developed these days. So many pictures of us in various states of undress! I look through the albums: a picture of me 'marrying' Daddy in the garden, him in his penguin suit, me having made full use of the dressing up box, my sisters on either side draped in finery.

‘We were happy, weren't we?’ says Mum, almost surprised.

I close the album and I see so many other pictures in my head, so many good times.

How things have moved on; nowadays, we click, rather than flick, through our albums.  I browse images on my laptop: my son, red faced and squirming on his very first day in the world; grinning in the garden on his first birthday; aged two, dressed in a Spider Man costume; aged three, holding my hand on a lilo on holiday in Spain; aged four, wearing a tie on his first day at school; and on it goes...

But wait.... he's calling me from the trampoline now, “Come and bounce, Mummy! Come oooon!!!”

It's time to log off now and go and make some new memories with him.

Shanta Everington is the author of four books, including:

Baby's First Year: A Parent's Guide; 

and 

The Terrible Twos: A Parent's Guide 

both with Need2Know Books. 

She runs a parenting book blog at www.parentguideuk.wordpress.com and a writing website at www.shantaeverington.co.uk