Monday, 12 August 2013

The Many Sides of Mummy Blogging

Once upon a time if a sensitive blog post was written it would get minimum 70 or so comments - often more than 100.  Everyone took a side and everyone had a mate worth sticking up for.  There were clear tribes!  When I first joined the Mummy Blogging tribe (ages after I started blogging) it appeared that there were two tribes.  That very quickly became four, then 8 then 16 and now I have lost count.

Source: Tomruen using Vladimir Bulatov's Polyhedra Stellations Applet from Wikimedia

The other thing, is that people belong to more than one.  So warning to new bloggers, don't criticise A, B, or C to D, because no doubt, despite being in different tribes, they no doubt overlap in one or more, being that people are members of more than one.  It's not as straight forward as football teams.  No, no, no, no no.  You don't simply see a Spurs kit and know the person supports Spurs. Nope! No Siree, Mummy Bloggers support many teams even if to you they may appear contradictory, or mutually exclusive.

So the easiest thing is to say "each to their own" and swiftly move along.  Take people at face value, and don't assume anyone likes or dislikes anyone, of course until they make it abundantly clear on Twitter LOL, as happened very recently.  What was wonderful is that although it was car crash it did not become a pile up.  People largely watched - silently - from the side lines while the carnage was taken away, and then all went quiet, and the lions slept, snored, and the next day despite little rumbles in the jungle, all was quiet.

The funny thing is, some of the people who make war, not love, online, would probably be the best of mates if they went to school together.

When Sian To wrote her No Mummy Bloggers Allowed blog post, yes it led to some Twitter rows, (as discussed above) and some Twitter blocking as people made very clear - or at least the blockees did (and probably lots of quiet unfollowing), but the blog comments are few and relatively tame, compared to years gone by.

Why? Well I think there are many reasons, with the biggest being that life is too short, and people's emotional systems are so exhausted with their own real life dramas that they don't have the capacity to get involved in online ones.

I think part of it though is that people don't know which side to be on, as they can't even tell what side the protaganists are on.  It's all a blur.  Maybe spiritually that is good, as in WE ARE ONE! Say a silent prayer! :-)

The BEST tweet throughout the whole affair, which partly inspired this post was:

Most of the knickers in a twist comments I have seen have been regarding the fact that the blog post stated (or so we thought) that Mummy Bloggers are not welcome at Cybher.... Well given that I went this year, and I had lots of company, I knew this could not be true and thus tweeted the author.   I very quickly got a reasonable answer without swords being raised.  An answer that made sense too.

BUT I did not raise my real issues with the blog post.  My real issue is with the many veiled digs at BritMums.  I didn't say anything as it is NOT my war to wager, but it is as clear as the nose on my face that there is karma to be cleared with Cybher Vs BritMums Live.  Sian says she made mistakes with Cybermummy (I went in 2011) and has addressed this with how Cybher is conducted. THAT is fair enough, but did I not see some digs at BritMums Live?  Anyhow, here again I go back to "sides" - I have been to BOTH BritMums Live AND Cybher, so I guess that makes me a member of both tribes.  It's not my war to win.  BY THE WAY: I just read the post again and can't see that many digs at all, so I think what you take from a post when you first read it is very different when you read it again in a new light... The sheer shock of reading certain statements that make you go OMG for a minute can sway your take on the whole post, as happened with me.  I read it very different now today, reading it again.

I am glad that Mummy Bloggers have largely downed swords and that it is mainly the 8k + followers brigade who are big and brave enough to fight it out amongst themselves.  The rest of us are too tender and delicate to get embroiled.  I'd say a whole heap of us read those tweets though.  I read them the night it happened whereas I think others caught up the next day.

Newer bloggers won't remember the days when it would have led to a pile up, the equivalent of the whole of the M25 with lights out.  Luckily we have moved beyond those days, and I very much hope the main protagonists have calmed down and are over it.

What do you think?  The only blog post I have seen about it is this one The Mummy Blogger Game of Thrones, which is quite apt, considering the heavy weights that were involved in the Twitter war! I love that the post does not take itself too seriously, and that was the same spirit that runs through the comments.

If all of this passed you by, then carry on regardless and enjoy your Summer.


  1. I think personally that the post was a deliberate attempt to be provocative ( elsewise why go for THAT title?) and as a hype tool for Cybher. Thing is, I went to Cybermummy, I've been to britmums.I liked them equally. To me, as an old timer, its not about who runs them, its the overall experience, which I've only ever had great ones of. There are so many people now who avoid each other I've lost track. Its all relative. I just like those who get my sense of humour and don't worry for those who don't. Its a massive community now some of whom will feel we're not cool anymore (hence that post) but its their loss. In life, you'll have those you get on with and those you don't, and I guess Social Media is no different.

  2. I wasn't offended by the article but I could see why people could be. I think that I lost a lot of respect for some of the more popular bloggers at how they were name calling and being so personal. It made me take a break and step back and realise why i personally started blogging. I haven't been to either Britmums or Cybher.. although considered Britmums.. now I'm not so sure that I want to blog... But that's a different story...

    1. Don't let it put you off. The people having rows are few in number. It can be hurtful. I had a row once that upset me for a year. People have learned not to pile in now, which is a very very good thing.
      Liska xx

  3. I never know who or what goes on and I wish I did just for entertainment value alone! I think I saw something recently when someone was blocked on twitter but had no idea what it was about or have seen the blog post so would love to read. I am going to britmums for the first time next year just to have a gander and met up with some bloggers I chat to x

    1. This was one row that a lot of people seemed to find entertaining, even if they were just quietly on the sidelines. There was a bit of comedy in the words used though, so the protagonists will just have to learn to accept the reaction it got if they are going to say things like that LOL

  4. Liska I wouldn't know what was going on in the blogging world if it wasn't for you!

    1. You missed the swords being drawn at dawn << or something like that.

      It was full on hair pulling scratching females scorned.

      It was one Twitter row that everyone seemed to know about. Not many involved but very brutal (albeit brief).

      Lucky it was swiping one off remarks and not too personal. There were lots of undercurrents though.

      Liska x


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