Wednesday 22 August 2012

Why Do Adults Lie?

In a recent post I said that I have taken my nieces and nephew and Aaron out for the day, 3 days in a row (this Saturday, Sunday and Monday).  That's me + 4 kids (2 girls, 2 boys = an 11 yr old, an 8 year old, a 4 year old and a 2 year old).

What I did not say was that when we were on the swings on Saturday, (in Alexandra Palace) I had a bit of an incident.

Okay, so I was with Aaron, while he ate his icecream on this wooden 4 x 4 car thingy:

While Aaron and I remained there, the nieces and nephew went over to the swings.

My nephew - the 11 year old - was pushing my niece - the 4 year old - and a toddler walked passed my swinging niece and NEARLY got hit by her swinging legs.

A man (parent of said toddler) shouted at my nephew: "You fucking idiot!".

I went over so so so quickly, jumping 30 yards in the blink of an eye and said "don't you swear at my nephew".

Twice he said "I did not swear".

In the end in desperation, to PROVE that sound carries, I firmly said "yes you did" "you said "you fucking idiot"".

His answer to being rumbled was to say: "I was swearing at my wife, because she didn't keep our baby out of the way of the swings".

*** oh so you DID swear after all ***

My reply was: "I am sorry I do NOT believe you swore at your wife.  You would never have sworn at your wife.  You swore at my nephew and it is not acceptable - you think I am stupid enough to believe you swore at your wife. I do not believe it".

He kept insisting.

I kept saying I did not believe it and wagging my finger, and making it clear I was not happy.

He went away with his tail between his legs, looking very sheepish.  His wife was mortified!

I would just say a few things:
  1. The man felt safe in swearing at my nephew as he could see no adults nearby - so look what parents are capable of when they think they can get away with it.
  2. I checked with my husband and like me he agrees it is the responsibility of the parent of the toddler to keep the toddler out of danger rather than the responsibility of the swinger, or the swinger's pusher, to keep their legs out of the way.
  3. The speed that would have been required for my nephew to grab my niece (at the height she was going) would probably have caused either or both of them an injury.
  4. The toddler did NOT get hit.  In health and safety terms it would be defined as a "near miss" and yet this was how the adult acted (clearly has anger issues).
  5. I find it interesting that his coping strategy is to default to lying - on 2 occasions: once to say he did not swear and second time to pretend it was not directed at my nephew.
  6. Because I can feel energy (which is a curse as well as a skill) I knew it was directed at my nephew even though the majority of my attention was on Aaron 20 -30 yards away!
So please adults.  Take responsibility for the children in your care, and I will do same with mine.

Do not abuse my family.

When you do, own up, apologise, and be civil.

Thank you.

And lastly, do not assume nobody is watching!

To end on a positive note, this is them on the said same swings:

This photo is from our time at Ally Pally BEFORE I went to Ireland (not the day the incident happened):

In this pic it is the 8 yr old pushing (not nephew) and yes that is Aaron on the left.
Liska xx

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