Wednesday 31 October 2012

The World HAS Indeed Gone Mad - PART II

So the update.

Last night I put together a 3 page Word document which is my contemporaneous statement as to what factually took place.

I printed it this morning and had it in my pocket when I dropped Aaron off.

As I walked passed the reception desk neither Manager was in.

On my way out, after dropping off Aaron, as I went out of the double doors the Deputy (the one from last night) passed me and said "Hello" or "Good Morning" and I just kept on going and left.  But as I left I asked at the desk if the Manager would be in today and they said "this evening" (I did not know at that point that they were having a staff meeting tonight).

Anyway in case I misheard/misunderstood I telephoned this afternoon and asked for her and was told she would be in at 6 p.m.

So once again this evening I had the statement in my pocket.

As I walked down the corridor AFTER having collected Aaron I came face to face with, first of all my friend, on her way IN to collect her son, and then them both (Manager and Deputy) and said "W can I speak to you?".  The Deputy in direct counter response said "I am going to speak to Y's Mum" and went into the childcare nursery room, to follow my friend, but only as a response to me asking to speak to her boss.

So you have G going in to one room to talk to Y's Mum who is collecting her son, where they will talk (not in private) and me and W going into a private room.

Now I have to split this tale in two to say what took place with me and W and what took place with my friend and G.

Me and W (The Children's Centre Manager)
We entered a room full of toys where we could speak in private and Aaron could play.  I handed her the statement and she said "Do you want to talk to me about it?" to which I said "No I don't want it to be coloured by emotion I would rather you read the facts as stated there".

She started to read it and then thought better of it and said "it is silly for me to read this with you watching" but as I got side tracked playing with Aaron she ended up reading the whole thing.

Afterwards she said "I will investigate this tomorrow by speaking to everyone you have named here, and meet you tomorrow evening".  We then chatted about what time would suit us both and agreed to meet at 17:30 tomorrow.  She said "I cannot comment on what you have stated here, until I investigate" to which I said "that is understandable and what I had expected".  Then I went on to say "I was shook when I left here yesterday and shook for 3 hours and as a result did not even make Aaron dinner.  She looked sympathetic and repeated that she would meet with me tomorrow.

My friend and G
I only know what took place here, because my friend called me when she got home.  I didn't wait for her to leave with her as I had no idea when I left that they were still there.

So G broached the subject by saying "You looked at me and I thought you wanted to speak with me" (which is a lie - she only made that move after I said I wanted to speak to W and they didn't make eye contact, as me and my friend were talking in the corridor and similarly G and W were talking).

Anyway my friend apologised for causing any complications and G said "now I am going to have to write to all the parents and say that if you collect a child for someone you cannot wait in reception".

When my friend explained "I think L is more concerned with the WAY you spoke to her", she said "no, we were laughing and joking and X was there and Z was there....".

(Yes SHE was laughing and joking but she knew full well that I was not).

When my friend said I think L would have been fine if you had been nice to her she said "I was nice to L" and "SHE didn't want to leave the premises with YOUR child and was unhappy to take responsibility for YOUR child".

To which my friend said "I fully trust her with my son, and would have been happy for her to leave with him, I think L was just unhappy with the way you spoke to her".

She kept repeating (G) that I was not happy to leave to look after him.

And my friend kept repeating that I would have been fine to, had she delivered the message in the correct way.

My friend also stressed that she HAD agreed that I just look after him at reception but that she had assumed that if worse came to worse I would take him home if necessary.

Anyway the long and short of it is that G doesn't deck how she spoke to me even though we were literally arguing over her insisting that SHE knew what I had agreed to (excuse me!), i.e. she was telling ME yesterday that I had agreed to "collect him" and wouldn't hear different, even though she was talking to the horse's mouth, me being the horse.

She seems more conerned with (a) blackening my name that I had concerns about leaving and being ultimately responsible for Y (b) denying that she was rude (c) speaking to Y's Mum before her boss does and (d) stressing that she will need to write to everyone without (d) ever saying that she would apologise to me or (e) apologising to Y's Mum for her inflexibility in not waiting the further 7 minutes it took them to arrive!!!!!!

Anyway her refusal to see her part in it has made me realise I have done the right thing in complaining as (a) it means she cannot "read" people despite being a Manager (it was obvious last night I wasn't accepting her jokes and her phrases "kicking out") (b) it means she would have continued to walk over people like that and (c) they need to review their procedures!

I hope I have explained the above well enough for you all to understand and to get an insight into what it was like this evening.

Let's see what tomorrow brings....

And how I would have preferred last night to run
  1. She should have SPOKEN to me, to say "we're going soon is Y or D nearby".
  2. She should have perhaps given us a 5 minute count down warning.
  3. She should have been sympathetic.
  4. She shouldn't have started lights out at 18:14 if they close at 18:15 (were was the degree of flexibility?)
  5. She should have explored the late fee option.
  6. She should have said "if they are not nearby, what have you and D agreed?" to which (if I was spoken to professionally I would have said "nothing", but I would have started to consider options)
  7. When I said they were nearby, she should have been happy instead of responding with "it doesn't made a difference, I would still have been kicking you out"
  8. What I am trying to say is she should have exercised some (a) management skills (b) diplomacy and (c) customer service skills and should (d) be able to read people well enough to know that they are receiving your jokes as being the butt of them, and the banter is ONE way and not being taken well.
  9. Ultimately I am a goody two shoes so if she sent me on a guilt trip that they NEEDED to go home, you couldn't have got me out of there quick enough (I don't want to get under people's feet or delay them) but when you use phrases like "kick me out" and don't even act happy when I am clearly happy that they ARE nearby, then you're going to get my back up


  1. Just read tonight and last night.
    I am gobsmacked!!!
    Let me know when you post tomorrow!

    Mammywoo x

    1. Mammywoo it is so lovely to have you visit. Thank you and I hope you are well.

      Wonder why your comment came up as "anonymous".

      Liska x

  2. A word of advice now that you have got this far. Be very clear on what you want out of this. The best outcome, imo, would be a personal apology (even if she coats it in a misunderstanding, she didn't realize she sounded aggressive as she was trying to be jokey about it, etc...) from G and a change in policy that they don't blindly kick everyone out at 6.15 - rather that they should work with whoever is there (or the parent on the phone if they are delayed) to find a solution. However, you have to decide what you would be willing to accept. Bottom line - this isn't an office where you can drop pens and pick up again tomorrow morning at 9am, it's a place where they look after other people's children - some flexibility is essential.

    1. I WOULD be prepared to accept a SINCERE apology. If it had happened yesterday, it would not have been. She was taking the "I was being jokey" stance when retelling the story to my friend. Hopefully 24 hours later, knowing I have complained in writing, and with a little nudge from her Manager, hopefully an apology will be forthcoming.

      Oh and an interesting little sidetrack point:

      A couple of weeks ago a parent and her two children broke the electronic entrance doors. They (due to cost) checked the CCTV to see how it happened. One morning that parent was on her way out after dropping 2 kids (after the door had been fixed) and G and her were DEBATING it at reception. The parent kept repeating, my son was pushing the door and my daughter was pulling the door, and I was pressing the button. She kept repeating it again and again, and G kept repeating that she had watched the CCTV. Both of them sounded emotional and I had to walk through them to get passed. I KNOW that Mum is VERY CLASSY and VERY PROUD and would have been MORTIFIED.... so it makes me think of 2 things:

      1) I hope they look at CCTV for Tuesday night, so that the camera will show that G was indeed laughing when talking to me, but that I was NOT AT ALL
      2) I hope that she learns from this as the way she was speaking to that Mum and me, both times in front of others was not acceptable.

      Liska xx


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