Sunday 4 November 2012

The World's Gone Mad - the Letter I Received


When I wrote my blog post Thursday evening I was not in a good place and I only wrote it as I knew a few of you were waiting to hear how the 17:30 meeting with the Manager went.

Well in the meeting I did not read the letter she presented me with (and wrongly assumed that our talk would reflect its contents), and I am not sure if I had read or digested it when I wrote my post Thursday.

Anyway, I publish it here, as even if I DON'T go to the head of the adjacent school who is over W who is over G, I think you may agree, that I DO need to reply to this as there are too many inaccuracies here, and I can't have this, as what someone accessing my file in the future sees, as the final word on the subject.

I am not going to bother addressing the points here in this post - I want to put it out of my mind today.  But when I write my reply, I will publish it here.

I don't want any of you to think less of me, so what I will say (for you to bear in mind when you read the below) is I DID NOT say that office staff are useless, but you will see what I did say when I publish my reply.

Anyway, bearing in mind I was VERY upset Tuesday night, upset enough to put my statement of events in writing and hand it in, does this letter sound like they want to make amends?  It does not to me. It sounds like they were happy to take other people's word over mine, on what took place.  Even people who have admitted to me, "yes I forgot that bit" and "yes I did not hear that bit".

Remember it is me that was on the receiving end of it, so I know the most of what took place.

And they seem to take the parent's word over mine, on the subject of taking the child home.  The conversation lasted SECONDS.  We ONLY discussed waiting in reception.  What W discussed with her were her "intentions" (should they still have not arrived) - how would I know what they were, and how unreliable of W, to go beyond what was actually SAID...... oh my days!!!!!

Anyway here is the letter.  Would you just take this on the chin and move on?

I can't and that's even though I have cheered up now.




  1. 1. The whole point is that you did not agree to collect the child - they are conveniently ignoring this. 2. You have never said that the staff are useless at any time.

    I would write a letter back to W stating these two points and asking her to address the problem and also verify when and where you allegedly said that the staff are useless you will be making a formal complaint. The misunderstanding may be correct although the way it was handled is less than satisfactory. However, to have false words put in your mouth, and in writing, is unacceptable and possibly libelous. It is unbelievable that grown adults cannot resolve a misunderstanding, if it was that, by a simple apology but rather have to resort to underhanded accusations (the 'useless' lie) in order to have a written record of something just to cover themselves. Wouldn't it be easier just to show some understanding to a parent?

  2. Woops, I didn't proof read this before rushing out. Don't threaten to make a formal complaint, it'll just get them piling you in it deeper.

  3. In fact, don't make any threats - sorry I wish I'd proof read and taken those few words out.

    1. Don't worry my reply will only be to "set the record straight" and highlight their failings in their so called "investigation"...

      Thank you for being so thoughtful.

      Liska x

  4. This is even annoying me now! I have nothing to add because I would've dropped it earlier on not being made of stronger stuff but I can see you did NOT COLLECT the child you were minding him until his parents came along (apologies if child is female I can remember from your other posts) they are really not getting the point here grr and btw such a shame your friend wasn't comfortable in being more involved as this really is a different case without that! Goodluck Liska xx

  5. I would write back to clear your name re the 'useless' remark but I would be the upper person - use their line of 'the children need to see good positive role models' and say something along the lines of 'Thanks for writing back to me, I can not agree more with your statement about the children needing to see good role models, and it is only because of this I am going to make no further comments on the matter, I hope that in future lessons may be learnt by this and communications between parents and staff are improved, I stand by my initial decision to help out a fellow parent who was running late by waiting in the reception and I would have appreciated an appology for the lack of compassion by the staff members when I was doing a good dead for a parent in need, not communicating with me in a manner where by I couldn't expressed my concerns about the dark evenings and state that I had not agreed to leave with both children, but as all members of staff seem to be unwilling to appreciate that was my concern and have made it very clear that they are not able to appologise for the misunderstanding and upset caused, I can see no reason to keep this on going. As adults we do need to be concious of the way our actions and behaviours effect the children in our pressence, and the atmosphere of situations between staff and parents could have been greatly improved by an apology which I feel we would all have encouraged the children to have done had any situation of arised whereby they were involved. I re clarify that I will no longer make comment on this matter and wish to move forward now as I feel I have expressed my concerns and you have made your stance clear.' And then I would try to forget aout it, if all other things at the nursery are good, and Arron is happy there I would not pull him out over this, I do hope you can find a common ground for yourself and let this end in a manner that you are comfortable with x

    1. Thank you. I hope I can do you justice with my response (maybe a bit of copying and pasting from the above will do the trick).

      Sarah, thank you so much.

      Liska x

    2. just remmeber sometimes you can do no more than make your point, which you have done, and sometimes your point is much clearer once you step away leaving everyone else to really think things through, and also try to remember your happiness is also important, dwelling on the what ifs, and waiting on your own expectations will not make your happy, walking away after stating a solid argument may well just give you peace x

    3. Thanks, I guess I was just devastated that she spoke to me like that, and then devastated that rather than undo the damage, they started a witch hunt style investigation, not helped by my friend's lacksy daisy statement when they called him (so ironic he walked me home Thursday). One bit he hadn't heard and one bit he'd forgotten.
      I WILL take your advice - promise

    4. I agree with Sarah - excellent letter.

    5. So do I. Some people just don't listen and ou'll gt no further. Make your points s above and move on

    6. Sorry for rubbish iPad typing. Looking fwd to seeing you Saturday - hope you feel better by then

    7. L, I've been wondering about this for a few days now and I'm worried about how it's all unraveling (on your part).

      If you go back to your very first blog post about this situation you said...

      "My friend phoned me and asked if I could wait with her son at reception so at least the nursery ROOM staff could go home.
      When I informed them they wouldn't agree to it unless she called back and told reception which she immediately did."

      So what I think you need to do is go back and ask your friend EXACTLY what she said on the phone to the office staff. Is there any way it could have been "L has said she'll take my child"? There are so many ways that a rushed, un-thought-out comment could have been misinterpreted by staff members.

      And bear in mind my comments on the original post - I suggested that they'd take this route. They have to - they are a professional organisation - there are specific procedures they have to follow.


Drop me a line, and I will visit you right back - as soon as I get chance. Thanks for your comment.