Wednesday 13 November 2013

Feminist #Blogfest and What A Man Thought About It - hey he even may be Santa

The fallout from the Feminist session at #Blogfest has left me with a little bit of a broken heart, as I would like to see (and would like to have penned) empowering posts about Stella Creasy and how she rocked on stage!  I would also like to hear more talk of Dr Sue Black and her great thing which is #techmums.  Both women commanded the stages they were on and apart from Twitter, had us in a hushed respectful silence.

As I have run out of steam, currently, to write any more about the whole affair I thought I would copy Actually Mummy and hand over to a man.

This is the chap who runs:
Love Christmas Ltd

As he personally witnessed the fallout on Twitter via the #blogfest hashtag he has an opinion.  I only found this out as I am a member of Darwin Affiliate Window and I got him to resize his badges for me today so that they would fit on my blog.  If you click on one of them, he will get a lovely Christmassy transaction if you like what you see and I will get a smashing 10% commission.

Anyhow, now that business is out of the way, do you want to know what HE thinks?

Over to @lovechristmas1 also known as Andy!

Let's start with my credentials:

1) I'm a dad
2) I have an incredible wife
3) I have 7 kids (8th on the way)
4) I work, my wife is a SAHM who home-educates all of our kids

I've listened to the mumsnet feminist session, which was pretty lively, and a little disappointing. Just in case some of you might be interested in the opinion of someone on the other side of the gender divide, I thought I'd pen some thoughts.

First off, let me start by saying I don't really understand what the point of the session was, or what the intended outcome could possibly have been? Was the idea that all women would band together, and agree on a certain way of being a mum? I cannot possibly imagine a scenario where that would ever happen! Whilst guys can usually be distilled into pretty similar and base groupings, women are so wonderfully diverse that finding two who agree on every aspect of being a mother is unlikely!

I think part of the problem with feminism is that no-one really knows what it is, or what a feminist should stand for. I think the feminist movement probably started out with the right idea - equality with men, but since then it's been twisted to be more like "the same as men", which is very different, and an unhelpful target.

Women, you are beautiful, brilliant, bright, smart, and should rightly be celebrated for everything that makes you who you are.

You are not, thankfully, the same as men, and you shouldn't try to be so!

Instead of focusing on the brilliant gift that motherhood is, this session instead chose to focus on a divisive issue. So many mums seem to miss the fact that whilst motherhood/parenthood is messy, stressful, hard work and exhausting, it's also a unique opportunity to invest in our children, and their future. Parenthood is the single most important job any of us will ever have, and we only get one chance at it with each child.

So instead of deciding whether or not we're holding up our gender (speaking to guys here too), both genders need to put on a little humility and decide that our kids are more important than whether we got one-up on the opposite sex today, or got away with doing/working less than our partner. We, both genders, should not be trying to get away with doing less, but rather looking for ways in which we can do more to enrich, support, build each other up, and see our kids grow into the kind of people this world needs.

Whilst I'm at it: 
Guys, be the man - by loving, supporting and respecting your partner. Get off the sofa and help her. Get on the floor and play with your kids. Put the laundry on, do the washing up.
Girls, love your guy. Support him, encourage him, tell him you love him, and never, ever, make him feel stupid in front of his mates - you can do that when they're not around!
Both of you -  Raise your boys to be the kind of men you want your daughters to marry, and your daughters to be the kind of girls you want your sons to marry.


Now you can see why he's Santa right?

Give a little love to:


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks for commenting darling. Was there a bit, in there, where you got tears in your eyes? I know I did.
      Liska xxxx

  2. I think that point about trying to be the same as men is a good one, and I'd go further and say that some feminists want to be better than men as a whole. That's what I thought was the most destructive thing about the debate.

    1. I know Actually Mummy and reading your wedding vows post got me emotional ALL over again. YOU know I believe in numerology etc... we tried to talk about it in the pub after Choccy Woccy Doo Dah, well anyhow 13 is a Goddess number. A feminine number. Our cycles are in 28 days, which means if it wasn't for the Gregorian Calendar we would be in harmony with feminine LUNAR energy. So what do they do, they disassociate us from our female energy (which men can access too by the way - my husband has a very strong feminine side!) by making us all as a population NEARLY worldwide fall for the line that 13 is unlucky - it is not and THAT is the element of PATRIARCHY I find interesting, not having words like domesticity and chattel thrown at me. I am glad you renewed your vows on your 13th wedding anniversary. We got together in 1988 and got married in 2001 so we married on our 13th anniversary of being together. I don't think it is unlucky so I had 13 red roses in my bouquet! The sooner we harness FEMININE energy whether it be in a man or in a woman, we both have access to it, the better especially as THIS the year two thousand and THIRTEEN is the year that we are meant to be doing it, hence us being Lionesses and ROARING during the session. I am proud to be a mother and don't give a flying fuck if I am a self abnegating one!
      Liska xxx

    2. Oooh maybe that's why we did it then! (Apparently 13 years is a lucky anniversary in Sweden)

  3. Very well said Andy!

  4. Great post! Very well said indeed!!

  5. Ohh I think I like this Andy lots, very good. Mich x


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