Mumentum - 2012 - Monday Linky and Blog Hop

The reason this Linky is being loaded up REALLY late on Sunday night - so late it is very nearly Monday, is because I have spent the last few hours reading up on some of the issues I wanted to address in this post.

I spent a long time on my old blog talking about weight loss and never lost any, and most weeks when I load up this linky (apart from the 4kg that fell off me in December 2011) I haven't lost any.

So what's a girl to do?

Well, I have gone through a lot of soul searching in the last 3 weeks, thanks to 3 books that I was reading on the kindle (I have blogged about all of them recently).  Each book made me encounter various blocks, and so I would put the book down, or in the case of kindle, buy another, which is how I ended up reading 3, in similar subject areas......

Now the blocks I am facing are that I need to start looking IN instead of OUT.  I need to address me.

So, that means dealing with my physical clutter, my body clutter, it necessitates a detox, in mind and body, and it is all underway.

Then and only then, will I be able to answer questions like WHAT makes me happy!?!?!?!?!?

So I even got to the stage where I thought Mumentum needs a new name.  It is a word that encapsulates the Mum Tum which is what it is all about.  

However when we focus on clearing our debts, all the brain hears is debt and we attract more of the same.  I only cleared ALL of my debts, except the mortgage (before getting pregnant) when I started focusing on prosperity.

So what does that say about our Mum Tum challenge.  It is like focusing on the debt we want to get rid of (the Mum Tum), rather than the prosperity (in this case radiance) that we want to bring on.

SO I had a light-bulb moment this afternoon, and decided to change the name to #CurveLurve as I know most of us allow ourselves to stay this size as on some level we do like certain aspects of our size.  Let's admit it! Which bits do you really love.  I know I don't tend to wear baggy trackie bottoms; I tend to dress for my best bits - certainly when I am making an effort.

Anyway, I googled curve lurve and didn't necessarily like what I found.

I then spent HOURS brainstorming - hence the lateness of this post - and I came up with #InnerTruth.

What do you think?

Because I truly believe that when we walk this planet, walking our truth, walking our path, all the clutter (and weight) falls off.

But it means being brave (fear is a lower vibration) so it means addressing every area of your life where you feel afraid.  I did that recently with my You Tube video, and because I stepped up to the task, God held my hand.

And you know when you take the brave step forward, the leap is a leap of freedom.

So I ended up doing quite a bit of Googling and considering I was a Kundalini Yoga teacher for 6 years I was very happy to come across this. PLEASE FORGIVE THE SCARY SERPENT IMAGE.  The words on there are worth the read.

Some highlights being:

1. The ability to make and break habits is associated with the navel center or third chakra. When our navel center is strong we have the will to make decisions and to keep them.

2. The abdominal area is our power center. Women especially learn to hold in their stomachs. The result is a constant tension and continual blocking of our internal source of power. This is the area where our digestion and elimination is regulated. When we create stress by holding in our stomachs and have a negative attitude toward this part of our body, we interfere with our normal biological functioning. (This part of the body is where the Mum Tum resides, so fits in with my feeling that a rename is necessary). 

3. When the belly is relaxed, digestion and elimination can occur in a natural and peaceful matter. Imagine you were a large or small intestine and that you had to carry out your job under the adverse circumstances that we create by holding in our bellies, blocking the energy flow and cutting off the breath. You wouldn't get the job done properly, so matter how hard you tried. 

4. SELF-LOVE on an energetic level is our goal. For self-love to be real, we have to enjoy being in our bodies. This is of course a process that takes time. We have to be willing to feel uncomfortable and to experience our emotions. If we are willing, we will over time experience inner power and peace.
   (We can't experience self-love if we are slating our Mum Tums!) 

So what do you think? Would you feel much better if you loved yourself?  Wouldn't you ensure that what you ate was healthy if you really viewed your body as a temple? If you REALLY loved yourself, and what you stood for?

Anyway, I have decided to finally do the detox that I have been waxing lyrical about for a couple of years.  Now no matter how many times I blog about it, it doesn't seem to create the impetus to do it.

I knew I needed some external pressure (other than the blog) so I have that in 2 forms: (1) I have a Justgiving Page that will look pretty silly if it remains empty and (2) I am proposing to start my detox during the Do Something Yummy week for Clic Sargent which is running from 10th to 18th March.  With me, I need deadlines, or I do nothing! I am just glad that it starts the week after this, as I don't feel up to starting it right now.

And great that 10th is a Saturday, as then I can start the detox on my days off, (I work Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays).  I wouldn't want to start a detox on a work day and certainly not the one I am proposing to do!

If anyone decides to join me, don't do so without reading the book as there is quite a bit to it.

Let me know your thoughts on a possible name change and don't forget to link up below.

Liska

x

Powered by Linky Tools
Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list...

Survival - Unplanned C Section and The Water Birth That Wasn't

Hi

@Nickie72 AKA "I am Typecast" has been hosting blog prompts for Clic Sargent.  And this is also being tweeted via #doSomethingYummy.

I am sad that I haven't taken part in every one of the 4 blog prompts but this is my second effort, with my 1st being about how lucky I feel to be a Mum.

The writing prompt for this week was "Personal post.  Tell us your story of survival.  What did you overcome?"

Well I think the perfect tale here is that of my c-section.  I did not survive an emergency as neither me nor the consultant let it get to that stage, but I did survive the failure to meet the expectations I had put on myself, and the operation itself.  Any invasive surgery comes with risks, so yes, we avoid the complications of a natural birth, but we run the risks associated with opening oneself up to the elements - literally!

Now back to those expectations I was talking about.

My whole adult life I have had Tokophobia which is what ensured that I never ever let myself get pregnant despite having been with my husband since 1988 (yes you read that right).

I qualified as a Kundalini Yoga Teacher and taught for 6 years until I was 37-38 weeks pregnant with Aaron (haven't done an asana since).  In 2009 I studied to be a Conscious Pregnancy Yoga Teacher.

Now a large element of Conscious Pregnancy is empowering women to trust in their inner strength to get through labour.  I got in touch with this inner strength and channeled it and the fear went.  In fact at the FIRST weekend worshop of the course I was 4 weeks pregnant so the synchronicity was unreal.

We did lots of academic and practical things to focus on pain relief, through doing really tough meditations, so that we'd have experience of going beyond the pain.  We learned how to teach other women to feel empowered about childbirth.  We had a "reading list" and I purchased Spiritual Midwifery as a result and read it back to back about 5 times - I carried it everywhere with me throughout my pregnancy.

I knew every trick in the book about how to get in the zone to encourage labour and naturally increase oxytocin... I had a very very uncomplicated pregnancy.  Only felt sick if hungry so I simply ate regularly.  Was very fit and able, so I did VERY long hours at work, and went up and down the stairs quicker than my colleagues - I was in good spirits, radiant and never moaned about the size, the weight or lack of sleep or anything.  Every midwife check saw me having zero complications, the only one being that I had to have the glucose tolerance injection.

Yet, the day I turned up at the birth centre for my water birth they did some basic checks and found me (1) only 2 cm dilated (2) glucose in my urine (3) swollen feet and ankles (4) odema on the very bottom of my bump (this lady explains it well).. oh and most importantly (5) high blood pressure.  Now Aaron was 8 days late, and I had never had ANY of these things in any of my previous check-ups.

They said I was a candidate for pre-eclampsia and as such I would have to go to the labour ward and my water birth would not be possible.  They'd always secretly wanted this as they were very concerned that I was "large for dates" (I have never written about that before either).

Went to the labour ward and had a very sympathetic midwife who was from Manchester - she knew I'd wanted to do everything naturally.  But, here I was now, away from the BEAUTIFUL birth centre, and now in the world of drips and epidurals (something I was very very against and reluctant to have)...  First thing I noticed was the massive fluorescent lights above my head and the fact that they wanted me to lie flat on my back - against everything I stood for and had trained for.  Despite Aaron being so large I could squat for England and was ready.

So what did she do, in an average NHS hospital? The little darling went and got free standing uplighters and turned the lights off. She got our CD player and put my favourite Kundalini CDs on.  She made sure that the machine that was going to be attached to my tummy was battery operated (instead of attaching me to a power chord) so that I could walk the room.

They did a blood test (but I am SCARED of needles) so as to find out if I really did have pre-eclampsia.

They said they would let me labour on for a while but it'd already been 24 hours since my waters had broken so they were feeling nervous to say the least. They then established it was only my hind waters that had broken, so decided to manually break the fore waters in the hope that it would bring on labour...

I can't remember what happened next but somehow at some point, the decision was taken to attach me to a drip to induce labour - if anyone has gone through this, you will know it increases the frequency of the contractions and REALLY increases the pain of them.

Now remember, I'd previously been walking the room, now I am flat on my back on a drip, and as I said, I was against epidurals so I was labouring through it all on mere gas and air.

My pain threshold is low, so this wasn't at all easy, but my principles stood me firm, as did my meditations.

The midwife went off duty after doing 8 to 8, and said that she would see me that night (Tuesday night) and I said "no way" I will have had him and gone home by then - she gave me a wry smile.

When she came back on duty on Tuesday night she couldn't believe that I was on pethadine (an increase from the gas and air) and that I still hadn't asked begged for an epidural.  Even with 18 years experience she was in awe of that, and VERY surprised.  

Tips to pregnant ladies - if you bring bags of snacks, remember to eat them, or remember to remind your hubby to pass them to you.  We had fruit, nuts, snacks, the works and yet the only thing that passed my lips in 18 hours of active labour was tea and toast that a trainee midwife offered me..... During labour you must keep your strength and your reserves topped up.

Anyway, I am by this point way overdue the deadline for giving birth from waters breaking, and so the consultant said I must push for 45 minutes and that then he would come back.  At this point I was 9 cm dilated.

They ALL let me do it, so that I'd experience trying, yet they all admitted to be after that it was pointless - the circumference of Aaron's head was the biggest the midwife had seen in her 18 years career.  His head was not at all descending. Don't bother counting spines (or whatever they call it) he was not coming down at all.

Well there is a spiritual premise that a soul chooses the way they will be born.  Even though as Mums we think we are in the driving seat.  I'd had a spiritual healing the evening of the night that I went into hospital, and during the healing I went to sleep.  In that sleep I dreamed that Aaron would not come out and yet if I put my fingers on my tummy he's only a few centimetres away from my touch - I remember in the dream thinking "how will I never get to see you, when you are so close to touch" followed by "I could nearly reach in and get you".  That spiritual experience occurred to prepare my stubborn subconscious for the fact that there is/was another way.  It doesn't have to be about meeting the expectations of your beliefs or your training, or your values.  Sometimes it is about going with what nature intended even if there seems there is NOTHING natural about it.

Now, roll forward to the lady who is TERRIFIED of injections and here she is sitting in an operating theatre while an anesthetist prepares to give her a spinal block (bearing in mind she was dead set against epidurals - oh how ironic).  Well thanks to the fact that I'd been on the inducing drip and thanks to the fact that I was 9cm dilated, I was still having contractions and BOY were they close together.  EVERY time he told me to  relax and sit still I was wailing and heavy breathing with the power and the pain of a contraction - the fact that they were so frequent really annoyed him!  Then a blanket of I DO NOT KNOW WHAT overwhelmed me, and I went limp, and he did the injection with ease.  Now somebody reading this won't be spiritual and you will poo poo my experience but hear this - at the EXACT same time that happened 2 of my relatives in Ireland (my Mum and my aunt who'd done the Absent Healing), felt a wave of peace and love envelope them, and they did not know what it was about, until we caught up in the days after.

So injection done, he then sprayed water on me to ensure I could feel nothing from the bust down, and not long later Aaron was with us, with a comment from the consultant "this one is ready to go to school".  Aaron is half Nigerian and the Consultant was Nigerian.  It all felt right and as you can see from the radiance in this picture, because of the way it unfolded I had absolutely zero hangups about the fact that I had a c-section.

Because I was empowered to ask the consultant for one, when the 45 minutes of pushing got us all nowhere, and because they were respectful enough (on a NHS clock) to let me try and because they let me mention c-section before they forced it upon me, it was all a very positive experience.

The one bit that was ironic was I did at some point say, did those blood tests ever come back, only to be told that I did NOT have pre-eclampsia!

I would love to give times on all of the above but I did not write my birth story when it was fresh in my memory.  In fact Aaron is now 20 months and this is the 1st time I have written this - it's not in a diary anywhere. And there are only fleeting comments on Netmums.

Ladies if you are about to give birth, do write your birth story as soon as you can while it is fresh in your head.

It took from 21:05 to 21:13 for the injection to work and Aaron was with us by 21:24! THAT is how quick a c-section is.  But it is NOT for the feint hearted as the recovery time afterwards is quite long.  NO heavy lifting and a scar to worry about.  It also influences breast feeding which I have explained here.

I will leave you with this photo.

Liska xx

Why did you have children? How have they changed your life?

Hi

I write this post for

Due to their Do Something Yummy campaign http://www.yummymummy.org.uk/
brought to my attention by the awareness Nickie is raising by hosting these weekly writing prompts  here here and here.

Nickie gave 3 writing prompts:

1. Personal post.  Why did you have children?  How have they changed your life?
2. Yummy post. 
3. Creative writing.

I chose the 1st one.

Over to my post.  But after writing that, I am now scratching my grey matter to come up with a fund raising idea.  I may just have thought of one.  I will let it simmer a while.

-------------------------------------

I started trying for a baby on Good Friday 2009.  April.

I had wanted to since 2007 (and before) but was far far far too scared of labour.  Proper scared.

Anyway, along comes the beginning of 2009 and I say to hubby I am too overweight to get pregnant, "give me a few weeks I'll do a detox" - I even wrote posts about trying to lose weight here, but proceeded not to lose any.  I didn't admit on that blog that my goal for weight loss was trying to start a family.  April came, and I was still the same size.

So roll on Good Friday and we are in Ikea, and I am looking at scented candles.  A heavily pregnant lady walked passed and I looked at her. Her radiance connected with me on a really really deep level and I bawled like a baby, right there in Ikea.

The minute we got home, we made love on the sofa.

I got pregnant, from that 1st attempt, but, a few week later, we had implantation failure..... most wouldn't know and would think they were late, and that it was a heavier than normal period. I am normally neither and am consistent, for like 25 years +.

Anyway, we tried every month from April till September and the only thing that got me through it was Net Mums.

The longer time went on, the more I wanted my baby. It was all consuming. I read about it, talked about it, didn't think about anything else.

And for me, having been a workaholic, I needed it to be like that. I would have taken it for granted if it came too soon. I needed to need, I needed to wait, I needed to nurture that space inside me, and I needed to long... long for my creation.

I wrote the below poem on Friday 18th September 2009. When I wrote it, I was pregnant, and did not know...... as I was in the famous 2 weeks waiting..... My last cycle started 31st August 2009.

(I retain all creative rights and copyright - ha ha ha).

I am a spiritual lady who so dearly wants a baby
I would oh so like the bump I'm impatient, got the hump
two weeks worth of waiting is getting really grating
But I do really love this thread Gets it all out of my head
A little girl or a boy Will be my pride and joy
Oh Lord when will it be that my beloved child I will see
I love you. I want you.

I posted it on netmums at the time. Thankfully I just found it (by wading through the forum which was quite time consuming).

I also started this blog before I was pregnant. A bit ambitious I know.

This was my 1st post, here on this blog.

Bye for now, Liska and my pride and joy Aaron xxx