Wednesday 6 July 2011

Scratch that Itch


Ever since I heard what's been going on the last few days, I have had an itch to scratch.

I didn't do anything immediately as it is not my battle and not my cause, but the itch continued.  The more I read, the more I scratched.  The more I scratched, the more I itched.

Last night I made a confirmed decision, and in my lunch break today I brainstormed why I am doing what I am doing even though it really has nothing to do with me..........

If you are reading this from the sanity of being outside the Mummy community read here and here to bring yourself up to speed.

I'll wait here till you come back...


Now the reason I did the links in that order as that is the order in which I found out about the recent chain of events.

Okay I will continue... As this blog has been largely about Aaron most of you probably don't know me and quite often I am running around like a blue arsed fly and don't even know myself but in my lunch break as I brainstormed I tried to work out why I have an itch I need to scratch and it involved remembering who I am ...
  1. I hate injustice - I was even like that in primary school
  2. I am a straight A student who doesn't like being in trouble
  3. Despite point 2, I would speak up in a class to support the underdog, as and when necessary, because of point 1.
  4. When I love something I am fiercely loyal to it. Don't cross me when I am passionate.
  5. I hate hierarchy and have no hesitation in going to the "Boss"' or speaking to the "Manager".
  6. I love community and I love consultation. 
  7. I am a HR Manager and I hate "top down" management.
  8. I am a qualified Yoga and Pregnancy Yoga teacher and because of that, I embrace the Aquarian age and what it consists of and support leaving behind the Piscean age... See points 6 and 7 above.
  9. I have never ever ever been afraid to take sides and am not about to start being afraid now - I have been the last few days and now I am scratching THAT itch.
  10. I hate boundaries and territories that are unnecessary.
  11. I embrace change when I can.
  12. I embrace competition when I can.
  13. I am not controversial so that is not the reason that I write this post.
The scratch I had to itch is the fact that I don't like the way Brit Mums have handled things the last few days, and I felt inherently censored in knowing that if I spoke out about it, I would be banned so tonight as soon as I got in from work, I went on there and clicked "Leave Brit Mums".  They can't hold that power over me if I remove myself.

And in order for them to assume the Head Master role I have to assume the cowering student role, and I aint up for that.

Blogging is free speech and THAT is what I am up for.

Now where does the loyalty aspect come in, from point 4 above.......

Well, I joined Netmums on 30-08-2009 I was going insane from trying to conceive from April and watching my cycle and symptom spotting meticulously every month.

Netmums and the girls on there got me through TTC (trying to conceive) and regularly answered all my questions.  It felt like a community and I always felt cared for.  It never felt like there was a hierarchy.

I had my blog already at this time but didn't really get into a habit of using it.

I then used netmums all the way through my pregnancy after announcing a BFP (which is a big fat positive).  And carried on using it for the first few months of Aaron's busy life.

It wasn't until September or November 2010 that I started blogging in earnest (although I did have a previous blog I used for nearly 2 years) and I did not join Brit Mums until December 16, 2010..... THAT is when I became aware of the community of Mummy Bloggers and it's been a roller coaster ride since then.

But I still love anything that represents a community.... Silent Sunday, Mumentum, Memes, Linkys, Blog Hops etc.... and I don't feel like I need Brit Mums to survive.

So as they seem to have parked themselves on one side of the road, leaving Netmums clearly on the other side, I have decided to make a stand.  Not necessary but it was an itch I had to scratch and I agreed with a lot of what Gary and Kate said in their posts...

All I need is
  • A blog to blog ON
  • A baby to blog ABOUT
  • And friends to blog TO...
I don't need anything else.

While I have been obsessed with blogging I haven't been posting on Netmums, and when I went through my phase of being addicted to Netmums August 2009 for a year, my blog went more or less dormant, so it now feels like I have come full circle, and am going home.

My blog and the community that helped me get pregnant, can all be together.

I love the new Parent Bloggers Network and I love the look and feel of it.

British Mummy Bloggers missed a trick when they renamed themselves Brit Mums... some of the best bloggers are Dads...

Also, why is it classed as direct competition when I don't feel it is... Nothing that is posted on Brit Mums can feature in Google search results as it is a closed (password to enter) community.  Whereas the whole thing that made me stumble on Netmums in the FIRST PLACE was that in the Summer 2009 I entered a question in Google and the search results took me to threads on Netmums and I ended up signing up so that I could converse and converse I did with 725 posts.

We talk about Mummy Bloggers being influential BUT in that year when I wasn't blogging and was blissfully unaware of Mummy Bloggers I was active on Netmums and that is where I was recommended my lovely Lindam Door Bouncer.  That is where I was recommended my lovely Fisherprice Jumperoo.... etc... etc.... you get great recommendations from great Mums on there and they don't get freebies for doing so.  I loved my time on there, and I love having this opportunity to jump on there new network, leaving the old territorial one behind.

There was no need for the way Brit Mums treated Kate, when all she did was pop on there to answer some questions.

Rightly or wrongly, this is me taking a stand, and I haven't done it in a hurry and I have all my notes next to me that I made in my lunchbreak.

I am not a big blogger and I don't have my shoulder stripes of rank so I won't be missed but I don't care.  I know who my friends are.

Bye Bye Brit Mums it was nice knowing you.

I had one sad look around before I left, like you do when you look around an empty property when you move house, and I took the opportunity to copy and paste this:
Welcome to BritMums — The UK's largest parent blogger network!
We're a friendly and supportive group of parent bloggers. Have a burning blogging question? Want to share a blog post? A rant? Start a discussion, join a group, anything! We’d love to hear. We run a popular bi-weekly blogger carnival, here's the schedule.
So grab a tea or coffee, sit back and meet other parent bloggers who love the UK.

What I LOVE about Netmums is that you DON'T just chat to bloggers you chat to other Mums. And that was where I began.........

Liska x

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