Tuesday 8 January 2013

Big Problem followed by Big Solution

It is very humbling to say the least, when someone who created a big problem for you, then has the good grace to also provide your biggest solution.

I am a spiritual person and know what humans are capable of in terms of love, forgiveness, depth of character and depth of heart, but that hasn't stopped me from being completely humbled and in awe of what has just happened to me.  It has renewed my belief in human nature.

Regular readers will remember my "The World's Gone Mad" posts - I think there were about four of them.  Well the bad "guy" in those blog posts is the lady I had to face last Thursday to say "what is the notice period?" followed closely by "I am taking Aaron out of nursery" followed by "since July I have been paying for it out of my redundancy money, and it's all... gone".... (I'd done it to keep his place open, while I kept thinking "a job is round the corner"... but it wasn't.  And no sign of one yet either.  It is hard to believe when I haven't had a break in employment for 24 years... coming up 25.

I've always been a grafter.  Always worked VERY long hours.  Even working during my maternity leave, half of which I was never paid for.

As I had waited 9 months back in 2011 to GET Aaron's place in the first place, I wasn't going to risk getting a job with nowhere to send him.

Looking back on it I should have approached her MUCH sooner.  I was made redundant at the beginning of July so I ought to have approached her in Autumn, but I am too too proud, especially when it comes to money.

Anyway, last Thursday, when I spoke to her, she said "I wouldn't want to lose Aaron" and "he is so happy here, he'll be moving up a class soon" and "we can reduce him down to 1 day a week" so that January's money (which one normally pays in advance) can last much longer.

This is where I had to announce that I had only paid for December THAT day...

To which she said "oh".

Anyway we agreed that I would pay for January and that I would call her the next day to agree on what day of the week the 1 day a week would be.

But the day I was meant to ring her was Friday, so suffice to say, I didn't.

The 1 day a week is to use up the notice period.  As in I can't just pull him out.  So what she is saying is pay for January and being that she will reduce him to 1 day a week immediately, it will last longer.

So yesterday I rung her, and I said Tuesday and she said Wednesday and then she blew me away with heart and grace again by saying let's do both, half day Tuesday and half day Wednesday.

She suggested 8-1 but since I have not been working we are always late.  I pay from 8 a.m. and yet always drop him between 9 and 10. So I chanced my neck and very unlike me was cheeky enough to say "do you do any other sessions?" to which she suggested 1 till 6.

So as it started TODAY I entered nursery with Aaron today at 12:55 and it was hard (I am a creature of habit).

The room was in darkness, all the blinds down, all the toddlers asleep.  The tables and chairs were all against the wall and someone was sweeping and mopping the floor.

All I could think was "Aaron should have also had lunch.  Aaron should also be asleep".

But I was brave and waited till he had a couple of people toddlers to play with and left with a very heavy heart.

I rung my Mum in Ireland immediately and she made me feel heaps better.

I should have approached nursery months ago, as it could have REALLY helped my finances but I am VERY VERY proud.

During my maternity leave, despite being on statutory, I paid for everything and never once asked my husband for money.  I put myself through University and have worked since I was 15.

When I left nursery tonight she approached me and asked if I had had the letter.  I said yes it is in my pocket but I have not read it yet.

She then explained the contents.  It is easier if I include it here:

I was blown away to think that that will sort me/us out till APRIL.

She said "you'll have a job by then" and hey, here's hoping I will.

You know, I have family members (like my SIL) who would not show me the good grace and generosity that a relative stranger did on Thursday and again today.

I have a VERY warm heart now, knowing that even when you fall out with someone - as spectacularly as we did - that they can move beyond it and show me the INCREDIBLE kindness that she did on Thursday, in yesterday's phonecall and again today.

When I spoke to her Thursday and again today, both times I cried.

Today I gave her a HUGE bear hug and truly did not want to let go.

Heart energy.  Pure love.  Pure kindness.  Always has the effect of provoking my tears.

I CAN be a strong character but I am a big softie and I can feel heart energy at 100 paces.

Anyway, thank you to her, thank you to the Lord, and just thank you thank you thank you.

I now will walk into 2013 with the very best of hope for what humans are capable of.

Emma recently wrote a post about acts of kindness and I am so glad that I now have this one to speak of.

Some of you gave me guidance on the letter I should write in reply to nursery, in reply to theirs back when we fell out.  Well to update you, I never did write it, and you know what, I am glad.  Although there was one innaccuracy in their letter that I wanted to tackle in my repl...
 but sometimes life is more important than being right.  Yes, I have admitted that.

Thank you for all of the support you all offered to me back then and I hope some of you are still reading so that you can see it had a very unexpected happy ending.

Liska xxx


  1. So glad you've had a happy thing happen to you. xxxx. Sometimes these things come completely out of the blue and when you need them most but expect them the least.

  2. ah that is so lovely to read. It is so much better to try to be on the same side when it comes to these things because they are the ones who are looking after your child whilst they are there. So glad for you. xxx

  3. I'm so glad it has worked out like this. She probably was advised not to apologise earlier as they had to see if you'd take it further and they had to cover themselves. This was most likely an apology and a thank you to you for also letting it go.

    Regarding the job, why don't you try and start something with your yoga?

    1. I have started something ;-) and it is on a new website: http://consciousmum.co.uk/labour-of-love/

      He hee you opened the image and noticed the apology?

      You know I was so so so grateful to her that by the time I noticed that, later at home, when I'd already hugged her without even reading letter, I was so full of gratitude that there was no room for anymore. But if you told me last year that she woudld apologise AND be kind I would never have believed you.

      Liska xx

  4. Ahh really good news Liska. Will you be keeping this blog as well as your new one?

    Mich x

    1. It really showed me that some people don't hold grudges. AND have hearts as big as oceans. I am really indebted to her, and wow, I am in awe of what humans are capable of. An act of kindness can really be powerful. Incredibly so.
      I hope you are doing reasons to be cheerful tomorrow as I have LOTS to say :-)

      Of course I will be keeping this blog. It's up to 35k page views a month so I can't not really.

      But having said that, it is a fair enough question given that I COMPLETELY abandoned Liska Life when I started THIS blog.

      Have you visited Conscious Mum yet? I really really LOVE it.

      Liska x


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