Saturday 5 January 2013

Today - 4th January 2013 - Multiple Mummy's Thanksgiving Service #KerryInOurHearts

I never dreamed that a thanksgiving service could do Kerry justice.

But then I ought to have known that with Kerry being the very best of people, she surrounded herself with the best, and came from the best stock.

That was so evident today.

Being an Irish Roman Catholic, being in church is not new to me, but being in a church, such as I was today, WAS new to me.

I have quite frankly never known anything like it.

The ceremony opened with us listening to this: A Little Fall of Rain.

That was the beginning of many a tear being shed.

Then the priest spoke. I have met many a priest, but none as humble, as eloquent, as heartfelt as THIS one. He had met Kerry several times, and it showed. He had baptised the twins. He had led Kerry in her belated "Confirmation" course which she was half way through when she fell ill (I couldn't help but reflect on the fact that I have also never been confirmed). He said that during the sessions on the course, where she was surrounded in young people, he let her take the lead, as she explained things like "faith" way better than he could. I have never met such a humble priest. All of the people she would have been confirmed with have signed a bible, which will now be treasured by the family.

We later sung "lord of the dance" which I have always thought of as an upbeat hymn but when you try to sing it, there is a certain paragraph that chokes you in tears.

Then her Dad spoke, and really brought her memory alive with his tales. Again, humbling in the extreme, how heartfelt and eloquent he was. He was so so strong and she would be proud to have seen how he spoke and what he said. What really is beautiful is that his faith is still intact and he waits to get an explanation for his loss. This was the first time we heard that Kerry did not like walking, even having to be tempted to walk as a baby by following a trail of chocolate buttons (the beginning of a life spent loving chocolate cold and hot). Nick her husband also alluded to her aversion for walking by saying their family walks had to be short :-)

Nick was next to speak, and took us on a journey of emotions, where we got such a treasured insight into their life. Nobody could quite believe how he managed to honour her, yet be jovial too. I don't think there's an emotion that exists that he did not touch upon, such was the extent of the reach of his speech. He made a lot of people proud today. He explained how Sandra her Mum did a vigil every day by her bedside for 5 long months. Back in happier times they spoke every day on the phone for hours. I could see her from where I was sitting, and she enjoyed hearing tales of their love for one another.

We thought we couldn't possibly feel any more pain, and then we were played Have I Told You Lately by Rod Stewart (their first dance song from their wedding).

One of the lines is "you take away all my sadness" and Nick in his speech got choked, when he said she is not here to do that for him today. But Nick, Kerry will ALWAYS be by your side now, as a Guardian Angel.

Amy read 1 Corinthians 13 which was truly beautiful, and like the priest, and Kerry's Dad and Nick, she was so poised and together; eloquently and beautifully spoken.

I didn't think we could possibly feel any more emotions, and then Kerry's beautiful Sister read this poem which I had never heard of before, but I think you will agree is so very apt for Kerry:

Instructions
A Poem by Rev. Arnold Crompton

When I have moved beyond you in the adventure of life,
Gather in some pleasant place
And there remember me with spoken words,
old and new. Let a tear fall if you will,
but let a smile come quickly
For I have loved the laughter of life.

Do not linger too long with your solemnities,
Go eat, and drink, and talk
And when you can -
Follow a woodland trailClimb a high mountain
Sleep beneath the starsSwim in a cold river
Chew the thoughts of some book that challenges your soul
Use your hands some bright day
to make a thing of beauty.
Or to lift someone’s heavy load.

Though you mention not my name,
Though no thought of me crosses your mind-
I shall be with you
For these have been the realities of life to me.
And when you face some crisis with anguish -
When you walk alone with courage
When you choose your paths of right
When you give yourself in love
I shall be very close to you.
I have followed the valleys,
I have climbed the heights of life.

Being that all of the Christmas decorations are still up, and Kerry loved Christmas we then all sang Silent Night. Nick did not need to do Christmas Stockings for his 3 children as Kerry had them organised by June 2012. Apparently she starts organising Christmas Day on Boxing Day - she continues to amaze me!

Before we left the Church, we remained in our seats to listen to this: The Calling - Wherever You Will Go.

The family remained outside the Church so that we could offer our condolences. We also joined them at the Greyhound pub for a drink.

I was so very glad that 7 of us made it to the ceremony. We all held each other up.

Annie, Mammasaurus drove from far away with Helen Actually Mummy, Helen Crazy Kitchen, and Emma Science Sparks. I travelled by train from London. Mary from KeynKo who met me and deposited me back to Wivenhoe station (I could not have managed without her) and Lucy from Dear Beautiful both travelled from nearby. It was so precious to be there as a group and represent Kerry's online life which was such a big part of her world.

AND THAT BIG part of her world did her justice on Twitter where #KerryInOurHearts was still trending hours after the ceremony, which was such a pleasure for us to come out and join in on. Kerry's on and offline families REALLY came together and it was just as she would have wanted it.

Just in case any of you think you were any less important by not being there, that is so so not the case. Nick (Kerry's husband) was proudly announcing at the pub that Kerry was trending again (like on 24th November) - it was and is important to him and the family take great comfort from knowing how very loved Kerry is and was.

Several people took screen grabs of the fact that Kerry was trending. It was heart warming to see lots of tweets from @TheBoyandMe who was a great online friend of Kerry's and a fellow TEACHER.

------------------

Today it dawned on me that there are a lot of FOURS.

#Healing4Kerry trended for 2.75 hours on 24th November 2012 (and also note the 4 in the hashtag).
Kerry sadly passed on 14th December.
AND today, her funeral, burial, and thanksgiving service were on the 4th of January.

I mentioned this to her Sister in Law Louise at the pub today and wondered if she was born on the 4th, but no she was born on the 16th but then Louise quite rightly pointed out that she was born in APRIL which sees the 4 again.

It goes on.... In numerology you add up ALL of the numbers in your birth to get your destiny number.

If you add up Kerry's birth date:

16 04 1982.

As in 1+6+0+4+1+9+8+2

You get 31

which you reduce by adding 3+1 to get FOUR.

One of the negative traits of a number FOUR is being clumsy and I lost count of how many times that trait was mentioned in tributes today - like Kerry everyone had their sense of humour intact.

I will let you read this and you can see for yourself how much of it applies to Kerry: number FOUR numerology

The above link includes the following sentence for FOURS:
Your purpose is to inspire others to fulfil their fullest potential.

So the biggest thing we could do for Kerry is to fulfil our potential and to continue to be inspired by her.

I can already see her having this effect on lots of bloggers, with posts like this one by cafe bebe.


Being that the number FOUR is so significant, I suggest that when we come together as a community for a real life celebration of her life, we do it in April. A few of us discussed it today and said it would be lovely to do something with all of our children and Kerry's. It will hopefully coincide with the Easter school holidays.


I think I have rambled on enough, and it is now 01:34 a.m.

Please leave me a comment - I hope that for those of you who could not be with us today, that this post gives you an insight into the day and the service.

Nick has already said that he will put an edited version of his speech on Kerry's blog which I know you will all enjoy.

Something very moving that I heard today was that Freya who Kerry was SO very proud to write/blog for, sent her underwear and PJs several times, during her 5 long months in hospital.

Kerry now rests in peace, in their underwear and PJs, as the family recognise that she loved time in her PJs. How beautiful is that.

Simply everything about today was beautiful.

It all did Kerry justice, in a way that before today, I did not think was possible.

I have never in my life been as humbled as I was today.

Kerry will live on in all of our hearts and in her children.

She also has a Just Giving page if you would like to donate.


I will leave you with some photos that I took today on my phone that I have loaded up to G+ here.

Liska xx

57 comments:

  1. It sounds like a beautiful service, thank you so much for sharing.

    xxx

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    1. It really really was and I just couldn't keep it to myself - hence this late night/early morning post
      xx

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  2. You been in my mind all day and even talked about Kerry with one if my friends today. I wish I was there but my current situation didn't allow it :( thank you for sharing this though. It felt like part of me was there ;) xxx

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    1. Ah I wrote it in a detailed way as I was hoping it would have that effect.
      Thank you for visiting and commenting.
      So lovely to see that your wee girl is now a month - how time flies
      xxx

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  3. Sounds like it was a beautiful and fitting service yesterday. I have been visiting Kerry's blog quite a lot this past few weeks. I suppose thinking of my child and my own life too. It has helped me gain focus and I have found it comforting in a way as well.

    Thank you for sharing with us and for also having the strength to keep us all updated x

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    1. Yesterday was very emotional, but strength was found in each other as there was 7 of us thank goodness.

      It is a pleasure to share as it was such a moving and fitting ceremony. I know she would have been looking on, and been more than proud.

      Liska xx

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  4. It sounds like it was a beautfiul service. Thank you for sharing it with us. x

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  5. She was an amazing lady and I'm please to read that she was given a suitable tribute. Kerry will be in our hearts and minds for a long time to come, touching us all when we need it

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    1. she has left such a legacy, in her children, her family, her blog, science sparks, etc... etc...
      and if she inspires us to be better Mums then that too is a wonderful thing.
      The blogging world will always be a better place for her contribution
      xx

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    1. It was a delight and a pleasure to meet you yesterday. Your meeting of me at Wivenhoe and staying with me to bring me back to Wivenhoe was much appreciated.

      Was a pleasure chatting to the family with you too.

      Looking forward to meeting you again in the future.

      Liska xx

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  7. Thank you for sharing Kerry's service with us x.

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    1. Pleasure. Last night, in the early hours, it felt so very right to do so.
      xx

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  8. Thank you for sharing this with us. Kerry has been on my mind a lot lately and with twins on the way I have been reading her blog a lot lately. It's just so sad she is no longer with us, thoughts are with Nick and her beautiful children.

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    1. Kerry really believed twins were a blessing.
      I know I would struggle, but she took it all in her stride.
      If you can be inspired by her then she lives on.
      Thanks for commenting, and I'll look forward to hearing about your twins.
      Liska x

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  9. Thank you Liska it sounds like Kerry had a truly wonderful send off which is exactly what she deserves. I wish I knew her better but sadly I didn't buy I can't help feel so deeply saddened by her loss. Thank you again for sharing this post I think of her family everyday and pray they're okay xxx

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    1. luckily they are a very tight knit family. Both the Pearsons and the Farrows. I can see they will provide great strength and support to each other.
      They have such a healthy view of things, that is so very humbling.
      Kerry came from good stock, and really was one formidable lady, blogger, mother, wife, sister and daughter. Judging by the priest's words she also had incredible faith and wisdom beyond her years. She had completed her life's journey already it would seem, as she lived life to the full, which is what we should all do now as a legacy to her.
      Liska xx

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  10. Thank you for recounting the day in such detail. I was so upset that I couldn't make it but it's such a long way from Cardiff and I had The Boy to look after on the last day of the holidays together. Kerry would have liked that we did science together with a block of ice and her magic milk experiment.

    I miss her greatly, it's affected me more than my paternal grandparents' death because of her age and also because of the suddenness and unfairness of it all.Kerry remains a beautiful person and I am grateful I knew her, met her and was able to count her as a friend.

    Thank you

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    1. TBAM I can only begin to imagine what you must be going through. I had already guessed it would have effected you greatly.

      It was so great seeing you on form on Twitter yesterday, knowing Kerry valued your friendship so much. A great deal of mutual respect you two had for each other.

      Thank you for rocking Twitter in her memory.

      Liska x

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  11. Thanks for sharing the service details with us Liska. She was a wonderful woman and it sounds like her family and friends really did her proud yesterday.

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    1. They really really did in a way that surpassed every single expectation I had.
      Liska x

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  12. That sounds like such a beautiful srrvice, I love that poem. So heartfelt and really eloquent. And the lord of the dance sounds perfect for the kind of person she was! I hope you are ok too. Yesterday was a strangely draining day even though I didn't know her and wasn't there at the service. I thought about her a lot and what a wonderful person she was. I hope you are ok too x

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    1. I know what you mean about draining as that was the effect 24th November had on me, and saw me wiped out for a few days, but I found yesterday somehow uplifting and could not sleep last night till after 3 a.m. Yesterday really was a celebration of her life.
      Liska xx

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  13. Sounds like a beautiful service, I stopped whilst out yesterday to think of Kerry and her family, as I could not be on twitter [no service].

    Thisdayilove

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    1. It is so lovely to think that so many people had her in their hearts yesterday.
      liska xx

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  14. So wonderful to read that post no matter how sad it makes you feel. Thank you for sharing the celebration of her life . I donated last week and hope everyone who reads this does the same. xxx

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    1. I think they will/have as it is going up at a rate of knots.
      Liska xx

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  15. Sounds like it was a beautiful service that did Kerry proud. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
    I have no doubt that her wonderful family, friends, and even us that never met her will keep her legacy alive. While it's seems so unfair that she has been taken from them I love that one day her children will be able to read all of this and see how much their mummy meant to so many people. xxx

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    1. Luckily she kept EVERY memento, and made lots of photo books. There are many records of her life due to her obsession with recording and archiving.
      She was much teased for it but now her family are incredibly grateful to have so many tokens to look back through.
      Her children will love it all, and her blog, when they are old enough to understand.
      And so many photos where her smile, laughter and love for them just jumps off the page.
      Makes me want to make sure that my blog is the legacy I would want it to be.
      Liska xx

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  16. Sounds like the perfect service for Kerry. So devastating to lose such a treasure but like lplatemummy says I hope the children grow up knowing what an amazing individual their mummy was and just how many people cared about her xx

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    1. Oh definitely, that will never be in any doubt.
      We have to keep the family in mind in a few weeks, when the crowds fall away.

      Thanks for visiting and commenting.

      Liska x

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  17. Lovely Liska, I haven't quite been able to find the words, but you have said everything beautifully.

    I am so sorry I wasn't on the train to support you.

    xx

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    1. Gosh honey I am so glad that you were safely in the hands of the Saurus mobile with Annie. So great that you all travelled together to and from, and that Mammasaurus driving gave you all a route there together.

      My train journey to and from was spent on Twitter, which was nice, to be an intermediary between the on and offline worlds.

      Mary got me and deposited me back at Wivenhoe station, thanks to your introduction of us to each other. She was a rock.

      Anyhow, I had you on the seat next to me in the church for cuddles. I hope it gave YOU strength that we were all there too.

      I know it will be very hard for you to have the constant reminder of her through Science Sparks, but she'll be so proud of everything you continue to do with it.

      Through you, her contribution can live on.

      Was really lovely to see you yesterday
      Liska x

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  18. Lost for words - so many incredible people there to support and do Kerry justice. I have said it before and I'll say it again, she sounds like an amazing person. Thank you for sharing. x

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    1. Oh very amazing. Makes it worse, like God is intent on taking the very best.
      She lived her life to the full though, and has left an amazing legacy.
      I still can't quite believe it.
      Liska x

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  19. Thank you for sharing this. I was thinking of you all, even though I didn't know Kerry or follow her blog until after she was in hospital. Sounds like you all did her proud.

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    1. The service really was the best tribute to her that I could ever have imagined. It went beyond my dreams of what could be possible.
      Liska xx

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  20. Got goosebumps again reading this. Thanks for writing it up. I felt so privilged to be there amongst such a lovely family. Kerry's children will grow up happy and strong, I have no doubt, in the knowledge of how much they are loved by their family, who also loved their mum...

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    1. I am so glad that you were there. One thing I know about you now is that you have one helluva voice. You were belting out all of those songs in a way that was so powerful. You can really really sing.

      I also loved being with the family. It keeps you warm to know that the children, although without their Mum, are at the centre of such a loving and closeknit family.

      Liska x

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  21. thank you for sharing this - it must have been hard for you to write it up but so lovely to hear all those special details and how much thought and care had gone into the service. xxx

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    1. I knew that she was at the forefront of all of your minds, and with the service being so so beautiful, I could not go to bed without sharing it, in as intimate a way as possible, with the hope it would make people feel as if they were there.

      I hope some people clicked on the links to the music, as it was all so very beautiful, and chosen by Kerry.

      Liska xx

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  22. So touched to read this Liska, I wish I could have been there. Mich x

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    1. Mich the soundcloud you did for your prayer for Kerry for 24th November is one of the most beautiful things I have ever listened to in my life.
      Thank you for visiting and commenting.
      Liska xx

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  23. Thank you for such an insight into what seems like a beautiful tribute to a wonderful lady. Kerry was one of my first blogging friends, along with you, mummy and the beastie, would like to be a yummy mummy, the crazy kitchen, mummy mummy mum, and the boy and me. I remember talking to you all for ages on twitter. I feel very privileged to have known her and to have met her a fair few times. I wish I could have been at the service but thank you for writing it down so we could hear how beautiful it sounded.
    I will miss Kerry in the blogging world and there isn't a day that has gone by that I haven't thought about her. I think her lasting legacy is that she will make many of us live our lives to the full as it most certainly can be too short sometimes.
    I will continue to think of her family over the coming days and weeks ahead.
    x

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    1. I remember those days so well. We used to practically have a party on Twitter every night. There was so many of us, that the @mentions did not leave much space for us to write anything LOL. Then we discovered how to use hashtags via #Mumentum and we had more space to write. The 1st time me and Hannah met Kerry we were like "and where exactly IS your Mum Tum" LOL. She had such a beautiful figure to go with her beautiful heart.

      Thank you for evoking such lovely memories with your lovely comment.

      Liska xx

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  24. Liska, thank you so much, this must have so hard to write but you have written it so beautifully, I'm sat with tears in my eyes but also giggled at some of it.

    Big hugs xxx

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    1. When I first got home, I was at the baby sitters collecctig Aaron and probably spent about an hour there. Then spent time with Aaron when we got home. It took till about nearly 1 a.m. to be in a place to write the above, but as tired as I was, I could not go to bed without doing it. I could feel the vibes of all of the bloggers saying "so how was it" and I wanted to meet that question with an answer, as I knew so many bloggers had Kerry in their hearts and wanted to be there, so giving a detailed account was the closest I could do to getting people to feel as if they were there.
      Liska xxx

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  25. I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get around to reading this, but I have wanted to very much. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman. XXX

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    1. Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that. I know you have followed it all very closely, and being that you are a Healer, you have sensed all of the energy that has gone along with the journey.

      Thank you Anya.

      Much of the above came through me; I was merely a channel, but a very willing one.

      Liska xx

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  26. Oh Liska, you have been so brave. Thank you for giving us this wonderful account of Kerry's service. I know many of us, including me, would have liked to have been there but we all felt a part of it because of your organisation and sharing. Love and strength to you! And thank you for the mention. I've been so moved by Kerry the last few months; I couldn't not share something.
    Karin xx

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    1. If we can all be moved to change the quality of our lives, as a result of her inspiration to us, it will be a great thing.

      Your Kerry in Our Hearts post was very moving, and I am so proud that the community came together in her name.

      Liska xxx

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  27. It's so good of you to share this with us, I didn't really know Kerry, having only spoke a few times on twitter, but she was well known and well loved and I was so sad to hear the news of her passing. My thoughts are with all her family and friends and her blogging family x

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  28. Beautiful Liska thank you for sharing this I smiled through the tears reading this. My heart goes out to you all and especially Kerry's family. xx

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  29. A beautiful post to sum up what sounds like a perfect service for Kerry. Hugs xx

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  30. This is such a wonderful post and a beautiful tribute to such an amazing and inspirational woman and her wonderful family. Like so many I feel blessed to have known Kerry and I do so wish I could have been there on the day to pay my respects,it just wasn't possible, but your post has made me feel almost like I was there. Thank you Liska xx

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Drop me a line, and I will visit you right back - as soon as I get chance. Thanks for your comment.