Tuesday 12 March 2013

I don't like 'ists...

Racists aren't exactly people who embrace people of all colours and creeds.
Sexists don't embrace or respect both sexes.
Ageist people don't respect people of all ages.

So feminists, by the above reasoning don't respect the feminine.

Or do they?

If you want an answer to the question, or an answer to the issue of why I am raising it in the first place, read this blog post by >> Kate Takes 5 (and while there, click through and read the post it was actually a follow up post to).

The people who got personal both on the blog, and more so on Facebook by the sounds of it, seem to do so under the umbrella of feminism, but hey if that is what the umbrella is offering I would rather be rained on thanks.

Personally, as a trained yoga teacher, from what I know of energy, we need the masculine and the feminine, in harmony!

The sort of feminism I would like, is the sort that allows us as women, to excel in a man's world, without becoming a man. For the man's world to embrace what we have to offer.  For the boardroom to say "pull up a chair" because they know we have something valuable to add, because we bring the feminine into it, and the multitude of qualities and gifts that brings.

I have personal experience of it, in that the company I worked for, for 6 years, prior to redundancy, very much became a man's world whilst I was on maternity, and the one remaining female, in Senior Managers meetings, got more in touch with her masculine side in order to be an equal at the table.

All of that male energy, stubbornly rail-roading the company through projects and problems, that often needed a softer approach, lead to a catalogue of disasters that unravelled very quickly.

We live in a Patriarchal society that has been that way for over 2,000 years.  Powerful divine women were edited out of history, but they were powerful IN their femininity and not in spite of it!

So ladies, I would say be divine in your feminine, and don't feel the need to add the IST.... I don't know of an 'ist that is healthy or balanced.

I haven't read any feminist books, or explored the movement in any way.  Perhaps I should in order to add weight to this post, but you know what, the responses to Kate's post don't exactly entice me to do that.

My favourite comment tonight, on Kate's second post, is the one by Laura Murray - it says everything I want to say.

As we have gone into  the workplace, and tried to be all things to all people, what has it done for society?  Where has it got us?  Stressed out and trying to do too much (and I know there are exceptions to that as you will no doubt tell me in the comments).  Laura puts this point more eloquently than me.

What I have noticed from every same sex couple I have ever met, is that one of them is always masculine or slightly so, with the other being more feminine.  Yes I have seen exceptions where two ladies both wear the big meringue dress, but ordinarily, the ones I have met are like the American talk show host: Ellen.

What I am saying here is that we need both, for balance.  Masculine and feminine.  If the latter tries to become the former.... then there is either dysfunction, or men mopping up the balance.... or what?

Can't we excel as women, without treading over men and each other to get there?  I'd like to think we can.

Aaron naturally liked Thomas The Tank Engine and tractors and cars.  We did not encourage it, and at 2 years and 9 months his Dad only played with his cars with him for the first time this Sunday, so it wasn't encouraged in that way.

He just loves cars because he loves Daddy and wants to be like Daddy.

He knows I am "different" in that I am a different sex to him, but that doesn't stop his favourite show on Disney Junior being the show about a Princess, and the last 3 nights all he has wanted me to read him every night is the "Princess and the Frog".

He is intrigued by Princesses, yet he is a boy in every other way.  Boy is he a boy.  But I will let him embrace both aspects of himself.  There is masculine and feminine in all of us.

I am sorry that I have not quoted any staunch Feminist authors, or brought any wise words to this blog post.  It just is what it is! A late night ramble from me, to you.

And hey pink is cool and so is blue.  Aaron wore a lot of orange when he was younger...

Let's embrace all colours hey!

Just found this on the interweb and it says it way better than me:

Why Feminists should not be Against Feminine


  1. Where does your opening argument leave scientists, dentists and chemists?

    1. Good one Ellen, I laughed howling out loud when I received this comment on email whilst out ;-)

  2. Hmm... I thought feminism was about defending women's rights to equality in the political, social and economic world. I believe women should have those rights, therefore I am a feminist.

    1. As long as we can have those rights, without attacking the Mother of a little girl JUST because she allows her to exercise her "right" to like PINK.

      Anything that gets too rampant or extreme in its views is never a good thing.

      Thanks so much for visiting and commenting x

    2. Pink becomes political for little girls because they are expected to want everything in pink. But it's a red herring in the gender debate.

      I don't agree that anything that gets too rampant or extreme in its views is never a good thing. I feel quite strongly against paedophilia for example, I don't think that's a bad thing! How can it be?

      The 'feminists' that were rude to Kate about her article were trolls. You are against racism (attributing negative characteristics to people based on race), similarly (and quite rightly) ageist. Don't you think you are doing the same to feminists?

  3. powerful in their feminity - that's the crux of it for me - great post.
    here's a poem I wrote about a similar issue http://llmcalling.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/gender-equality.html


Drop me a line, and I will visit you right back - as soon as I get chance. Thanks for your comment.