Friday 14 June 2013


Sitting in my PJs
It's really late at night
I don't know why I stay awake
Getting so close to day light

Late to sleep late to rise
It's become who I am
I ought to make an effort
But I don't give a damn

A part of me that used to work
Was turned off some time last year
The part that was ambitious
For which I could shed a tear

But crying's not within me
I only feel so numb
Why did I give my "all" like that
I really was quite dumb

While all the world got qualified
I ran around a treadmill
And now I don't know what to do
I find myself standing still

I say I want to stay at home
Be the one to hold the baby
But life is passing me right by
And all I feel is lazy

My feet are heavy
My pace is slow
My va va voom has left me
I don't know what will bring me to
The place I know I should be

What is for sure
Is this don't work
This sluggish lazy me

So I need to find
A path to walk
That's where I want to be

I know the route
The journey's end
Yet still I do delay
And every day that
I hang about
The price is dear I pay

For life is for the living
And there's time when I'll be dead
So now's the time to soldier on
And deal with the bits that feel like lead

Somehow I'll find a way to smile
And be the Mum I'm born to
But part of me is in a panic
As I know I'm worn too

By worn I mean I'm tired
Every day is such a struggle
Whenever I get clarity
It's followed by a muddle

The person that I was
I think she has gone missing
The one that's walking in her shoes
Is quiet and silently wishing

Wishing that the day will come
When everything has a meaning
Wondering when that day will be
Until then I'll be dreaming

For now it is the time to sleep
Put down my weary head
Turn off the phone put out the light
And drag myself to bed

1 comment:

  1. I went back to work once my wee man was 9 months and for 4 months I struggled. I ended up quickly going off sick and got some counselling. Speaking with someone really helped to work through all the jumble in my head and help me to figure out where I want to be. I knew this job was not for me and gave it up. It has been nearly a year and I have now just got back to work. I needed that time though that space to find myself and reenergise myself. You never get de qualified and if at some point you feel going back to work is for you it might take a while but you can find that job that suits. It's hard to find that right balance and it is such a personal decision to make even with all of our family commitments and responsibilities. I hope you find your path.


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